online dating with this quiet but intelligent guy (I hate say geek) what do I do

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online dating with this quiet but intelligent guy (I hate say geek) what do I do

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    amylovesyou91
    Participant
    April 2, 2013 at 3:50 pm #27579
    online dating with this quiet but intelligent guy (I hate say geek) what do I do

    I was wondering if I could maybe get some advice
    So I joined up to this dating website with no joy for months
    Then about 4 weeks ago this guy caught my eye
    He is 24 yr old and is like doing a degree covering all sorts including maths
    So I sends him this message and he replies
    We then started to email each other back and forth
    I happen to think this guy is really good looking but is probably not what shallow people would call good looking
    I really am not into pretty boy types who to me are not that pretty lol
    Anyway so we swapped a few pics and was having fun and then we started to talk dirty what we wanted to do to each other
    Then all of a sudden he stops emailing me
    So I worry what I have done wrong
    So I asked him and he said he had been busy and was real sorry
    But after that rather than email twice a day it turned into every 4 days
    I know he is super busy and I dont have a prob with that
    But he admitted to me he is really suspicious of everyone who says they like him from past experience coz they used him
    And he was bullied in school and now thinks that everyone is out to get him and he is useless which is the total opposite
    I hate using the word geek but that kind of describes him
    Now he is being more distant in his emails
    I would say Im not a bad looking girl and I think he thinks I am emailing him as a joke to laugh at him or for a bet or something else
    I know he dont know me and why wouldnt he suspect me if every other girl has made him feel like crap
    Im not offended that he suspect me but how do I show him I am serious?
    I dont want to keep sending him emails as that makes me come across as some like stalker person but what can I do ?
    How can I reassure him I am different ?
    I really do like him he is interesting and funny and kinda charming plus I think he is real nice looking and we have a lot in common
    But if I pay him compliments he dont believe them and just says thanks anyway
    I understand hes had a lot to deal with and this makes him suspicious of everyone
    How do I help him through it ?
    I think maybe like in his head the emailing was just a fantasy and that I would never meet him in real life but I would do further along
    But it is like he is giving up already as he thinks nobody could proper like him
    I wanna help him get through this so much
    Do I back off or then will he just think what he thought was right anyway ?
    If I come on to strong then I risk pushing him away ?
    I dont want anything from him like money as I have my own home and happy with my job all I want is to help him see that I am serious
    what can I do ?
    thankyou amy x

    underthesea
    underthesea
    Participant
    April 3, 2013 at 6:59 pm #27712

    I think you’re incredibly blind to what happened here. This guy doesn’t need any help. As soon as you shared your dirty pictures and talks, he got what he wanted out of you, an online fling.

    He’s not looking to be in a relationship with a girl who gave up a lot of private things so soon. you’re probably not the only one though. And the excuse that he’s busy or is going through tough times is just his way of saying, I’m busy flirting with other girls, I’ve had enough with you.

    I think you need to be more aware that people online don’t just ask for these little online fantasies to “test” you and see if you’re “the one” Don’t send pictures to strangers and definitely don’t assume you’ll create some kind of relationship out of an online sex show.

    Sorry to be blunt but you and him are looking for different things and you gave up too much too fast. He may have saved your photos to his computer and who knows what he’ll do with them now…lesson learned. No more dirty pictures, ever.


    harrytimes
    Participant
    April 5, 2013 at 1:43 pm #27880

    You might have not taken the right steps to start a “relationship” but you may be able to recover. Try asking him if he’s interested in getting to know you any more. If he says he’s too busy or comes up with some other excuse then let him be. He might no be looking for something serious anyway.