Opinions from all are welcome. Need input

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Opinions from all are welcome. Need input

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Oklahomer52
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 2:48 pm #126748
    Opinions from all are welcome. Need input

    I’ve liked this girl that works at the same company the past 3 years. The past year I started to make it somewhat obvious that I was interested. However, at the time she had a boyfriend and I backed off. The past few months we have been hanging out in small groups with work friends (she’s recently single). This past weekend, we went out as a small group again, went to bars and had drinks- overall it was fun. at end of the night, I made a move and told her how I felt about her. She told me it was just a very bad time and that she just got out of a relationship and he (her ex) is till texting her, etc. Then she started apologizing. I told her its no big deal. From that point forward the rest of the night, I didn’t speak to her and I ended up going to another bar. A day later, I get a voicemail from her. She told me that I had just caught her off guard, and she asked if I wanted to go out with her sometime and see where it goes. Is this a pity date or is she genuinely interested?

    • This topic was modified 10 months ago by  Oklahomer52.
    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 3:20 pm #126766

    I don’t think girls do pity dates – but i can guarantee you it’s also not that she’s thinking you are going to have a full-on relationship either.
    I’d go out with her but keep it light and definitely don’t try to make her your gf at this point – play it cool.

    she just broke up, you came out of LF and surprised her – so this is all new to her.

    let her work thru her break-up first and give her time to move on completely from that. its okay to get to know her, let her get to know you – but don’t make any moves. chances of something happening and lasting under thse conditions is not very good. If you want a relatoinship that is.

    if you’re looking for a fling or somthing not s serious, then go ahead as people during rebound tend to hook up quickly before they figured out it was rebound and not real.


    JacksonWest
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 6:09 pm #126833

    I would play it cool and take it slow. I don’t think females usually do pity dates. I think she may be confused, but may have enough interest to see if there may be something between you two.


    Oklahomer52
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 6:12 pm #126834

    Appreciate your response. I was very in to her and being shot down was a tough blow. She has been single for 6 months. In any case, the fact that she now wants to go out makes me think she is interested. Keep in mind, when I made a move the other night, everyone was fairly drunk and I approached her in front of her friends. After getting sober and thinking about it, she calls and wants to go out.maybe it was a bad move that I told her while we were drinking. Even though I meant what I said.

    • This reply was modified 10 months ago by  Oklahomer52.
    F1end
    F1end
    Participant
    February 14, 2017 at 4:21 am #126848

    I think that until you’ve dealt with the drama of going out with someone from work, you won’t know how much trouble it is.

    I strongly suggest that you don’t see your workmates as potential sexual options. That you friendzone girls you work with, and look elsewhere for your sexual relationships.

    Also, “telling women how you feel” is never a good thing. Too much, too soon. Just casually ask women out in future.

    When a woman has just broken up with a boyfriend, it’s almost always a good idea to offer her fun and a way to take her mind off of things, rather than being really heavy and serious.

    As for “pity dates”, I agree with everyone else. Women don’t really do that.

    If a woman is hanging around with you at all, it’s because you have some sort of value. Now, that value might be sexual, or it might just be someone to talk about her problems with, or whatever. But, she sees some kind of value in having you around.

    • This reply was modified 10 months ago by F1end F1end.

    Oklahomer52
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 9:12 am #127151

    I have had a crush on this girl for about two years. Finally, she is single and wants to go out this weekend and said we would “see where it goes”. She knows that I like her.
    I recognize that I am head over heels for her – thus, I am aware to the fact that I do not want to come off as appearing desperate. I am just a guy who knows what he wants and I want her.
    In any case, there are some other girls on facebook that have been posting flirtatious comments on some of my statuses lately. I am wanting to know: will it be to my benefit if the girl I am interested in sees that other girls are interested in me? If she sees other girls posting flirtatious comments is she going to be turned off from me or more attracted? Keeping in mind, I am not responding to the flirty posts. I am just leaving them there. Long story short, should I delete the posts from the other girls or would it work in my favor to give the girl I like the impression I have other options?


    Olivafrey
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 1:59 pm #127296

    It sounds like she is genuinely at a complicated point having recently broken up, but is some what interested in you- at least enough to call. I’d go out, see how it goes. It’s probably not pity, but she may be in a bad place to start dating


    arnab
    Participant
    February 18, 2017 at 9:42 am #127530

    I dont feel this is a pity date. She must be happy with the fact about your persistence in seeking here. I think you should go out with her and then you yourself will understand whether she is doing it forcefully or not