Paying for Dates

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Paying for Dates

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    May 5, 2018 at 12:50 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    Ant
    Participant
    May 1, 2018 at 8:08 am #171901
    Paying for Dates

    I have a new girlfriend and she seems to be under the impression that I am going to continue to pay for everything when we date. I supported my wife for 21 years and brought up 2 children. This new girlfriend seems to think I am going to pick-up where her husband (deceased) left off. She mentions going on foreign holidays and all sorts of things that cost money. I have been divorced for many years now and usually if a woman behaves like this I just drop her. This one however I really like and I want her to stick around. Its not so much that I can’t afford to pay it’s more that I think i have done my share of paying. Any suggestions as to how I tell her nicely that I want us to share the cost of going out.


    nicky528
    Participant
    May 1, 2018 at 3:13 pm #171976

    Get it out in the open and share your concerns


    Coach_Michael21
    Participant
    May 1, 2018 at 11:12 pm #171984

    It’s good that you are noticing these things early. The best course of action is to talk about these things sooner rather than later….The last thing you want to do is to continue to pay for everything, even when you don’t want to, and bring this up months later after her expectations have already been met plenty of times. Sit down with her and let her know exactly what your expectations and boundaries are as far as this issue is concerned. Be polite about it without being confrontational. Make sure to stick to your boundaries on this and don’t cave in to any unreasonable requests that could strain your finances or for that matter, your own personal comfort level with finances. Good luck!


    drock11
    Participant
    May 3, 2018 at 7:06 pm #172147

    You should do what you want to do. Never let a woman be the reason you lose your own conviction. Yes there is such thing as compromise, but if you don’t feel comfortable paying for things then don’t. If it’s a problem you can talk to her and explain it and come to a decision. If she leaves you because of it, even though it will hurt and sucks, it is for the best because she should love you for you and what you stand for, not your money.


    abilaw34
    Participant
    May 4, 2018 at 6:27 am #172154

    It’s quite an uncomfortable subject to approach at first but it’s really best to talk about it. Open communication is key to making any kind of relationship work. Maybe say something like, “shall we start paying for dates 50/50? Or take turns to treat each other?” That’s a nice subtle way to approach the situation I feel. Again, as others have said, if she leaves you for it then that’s her loss, not yours


    jc
    Participant
    May 10, 2018 at 10:21 am #172764

    one of my ex said ‘ men also would like to be invited by women’ maybe you should find a right moment to say this…


    cantthinkofaname32
    Participant
    May 11, 2018 at 12:16 pm #172971

    She might be old fashioned and think it’s just how a man shows respect and affection. Just talk to her about it.