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AntParticipantMay 1, 2018 at 8:08 am #171901
I have a new girlfriend and she seems to be under the impression that I am going to continue to pay for everything when we date. I supported my wife for 21 years and brought up 2 children. This new girlfriend seems to think I am going to pick-up where her husband (deceased) left off. She mentions going on foreign holidays and all sorts of things that cost money. I have been divorced for many years now and usually if a woman behaves like this I just drop her. This one however I really like and I want her to stick around. Its not so much that I can’t afford to pay it’s more that I think i have done my share of paying. Any suggestions as to how I tell her nicely that I want us to share the cost of going out.
Coach_Michael21ParticipantMay 1, 2018 at 11:12 pm #171984
It’s good that you are noticing these things early. The best course of action is to talk about these things sooner rather than later….The last thing you want to do is to continue to pay for everything, even when you don’t want to, and bring this up months later after her expectations have already been met plenty of times. Sit down with her and let her know exactly what your expectations and boundaries are as far as this issue is concerned. Be polite about it without being confrontational. Make sure to stick to your boundaries on this and don’t cave in to any unreasonable requests that could strain your finances or for that matter, your own personal comfort level with finances. Good luck!
drock11ParticipantMay 3, 2018 at 7:06 pm #172147
You should do what you want to do. Never let a woman be the reason you lose your own conviction. Yes there is such thing as compromise, but if you don’t feel comfortable paying for things then don’t. If it’s a problem you can talk to her and explain it and come to a decision. If she leaves you because of it, even though it will hurt and sucks, it is for the best because she should love you for you and what you stand for, not your money.
abilaw34ParticipantMay 4, 2018 at 6:27 am #172154
It’s quite an uncomfortable subject to approach at first but it’s really best to talk about it. Open communication is key to making any kind of relationship work. Maybe say something like, “shall we start paying for dates 50/50? Or take turns to treat each other?” That’s a nice subtle way to approach the situation I feel. Again, as others have said, if she leaves you for it then that’s her loss, not yours
jcParticipantMay 10, 2018 at 10:21 am #172764
one of my ex said ‘ men also would like to be invited by women’ maybe you should find a right moment to say this…
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