Player or Genuine Man?!

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Player or Genuine Man?!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    kybaby27
    Participant
    September 30, 2017 at 9:52 am #151047
    Player or Genuine Man?!

    I’m a 27 year old woman. I find myself successful (aside for dating men) and an attractive tall, fit, blonde woman with all the right curves. I decided to try out Bumble and came across a 22 year old Firefighter/EMT. Hesitant of his age at first, he said not to worry because he is more mature and I’ll see that. Days later, we met at a bar and instantly hit it off. We kissed in the bar, he held my hand, confirmed that he was ONLY looking for dating (he said he had to ask since we were getting touchy/feely.) We left to walk around, he held my hand, walked close to the street with intent to keep me safe (he noted this.) And… I ended up caving in and going to his place and having amazing sex. We made out continuously until I drove home that night. He texted me after I left saying how excited he was about us, how amazing I am, and that he really hopes we work out. Next day, he texts saying he couldn’t wait four days to see me again for our next date and he had to see me.

    jcqlnky
    jcqlnky
    Participant
    October 1, 2017 at 11:21 am #151054

    So far it sounds like he really is interested in you, especially if he really does make an effort to see you again before the 4 days. I’d maybe not do it on the second date, and see how that goes and if he’s still interested in seeing you again after that. Best of luck!


    dee1988
    Participant
    October 1, 2017 at 4:54 pm #151065

    It sounds genuine, but be weary of guys that live boom in the beginning. Sometimes the mask will fall off later. Just protect your heart, by having your head and your heart in line together.


    kybaby27
    Participant
    October 2, 2017 at 9:29 am #151048

    He was mushy gushy “hey babe, hey love, I miss you so much, can’t wait to kiss you again, keep thinking about you all day..” All that sweet stuff that kept giving me butterflies. Was I a bit hesitant about all the pet names as it was so unusual for a man to be sweet? A tad, yes… But I loved every minute of it because I assumed he was being genuine because everything just FELT so good between us, so different and so “smooth” from the start. I saw him two days later, met his roommates and everything. They knew who I was, they knew I was a teacher, and he was really sweet about comforting me around them to make sure I was comfortable and such. I was like “Wow, this guy must really like me to tell them about me and be so sweet with me around them.” So yes, I want to note we had sex AGAIN that night. Then we cuddled and watched a movie. He held me, kissed my forehead and cheek and it was absolutely so comfortable and reassuring that he liked me!


    kybaby27
    Participant
    October 2, 2017 at 9:31 am #151049

    So even that night, we had a convo about sex. He said he is willing to not have sex if I believe it would hinder everything. He told ME he used to fuck around with girls but I make him want a commitment. He confirmed with ME that I have feelings for him and wanted to know we are on the same page. We could barely leave each other that night because we kept kissing and he basically had to run away from my car when saying goodbye. Well, 2 days later he backed out of our date because he had mandatory on call for work. I understood and he apologized and said he’ll make it up to me. Next day, he reschedule for 5 days later. Well, during those next days he started texting less, some days half a day apart. He would say the next morning “sorry babe I got busy in class or work and then crashed hard when I got home.” and things like that. I believed him. Then the day came to where we had another date. That day, after trying to confirm our plans, he didn’t reach out or say anything until 10pm…


    kybaby27
    Participant
    October 2, 2017 at 9:39 am #151050

    He CLAIMED he wasn’t getting my texts (my best friend sent him a text with her number and he instantly replied.) He sent me a screenshot and saved my name as “Kyle Curr from work”. My name is KYLEE and I’m not from his work. I assumed he was hiding me from another woman. I brought it up and he said autocorrect did that when saving my name and he didn’t notice until now. So I played along with the story and gave him benefit of the doubt. He ended up saying we could do the next day after 5pm. He even said good morning to me the next morning and such. I agreed to giving it another chance the next day with him, but then sent him texts to confirm plans… He never answered me all day until 7PM saying he just got home. I gave a short “oh okay”. So I sent him a blunt text today and pretty much said to fuck off and that I thought everything was real between us and I liked him. He messaged back saying he’s not hiding me, It was real and he wanted it to be, blah blah.


    kybaby27
    Participant
    October 2, 2017 at 9:40 am #151051

    So after basically being as blunt as I could to call him out on what I think are lies/manipulation and potentially “playing”, he said he still wants to see me. I said I want to too, because he seemed so into me! He would always talk about the future and everything… Mentioned how his goal was for me to be his girlfriend. He as for Monday, I agreed… Now I have a feeling I won’t hear back from him for a long time. I am only assuming our plans for Monday will fall through too and I just don’t understand. Does he like me or not? Why would you fill a woman with so many false hopes, keep making plans, but then keep breaking them? I just don’t understand it. I have never had this happen before.

    hazy_amy
    hazy_amy
    Participant
    October 4, 2017 at 2:39 am #151369

    My advice for you, since I’ve been in this situation many times, is to take your time with it! The infatuation of one another makes things escalate and it ends up being more about physical companionship rather than an emotional partner. Also moving about it too fast and thinking too much into it can tend to lead into one person liking one more than the other. So take it day by day, be honest with your feelings and don’t be scared to let him know how you feel about it too, it may even prompt him to bring up his thoughts about things too!

    daydreaming93
    daydreaming93
    Participant
    October 4, 2017 at 5:28 pm #151498

    Just be careful, sometimes that burning flame can go out in a matter of Days! Don’t beat around the fact that he’s only looking for dating. I’msure he meant that.