Playing “Hard to get?” interested sometimes, other times no interest seemingly

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Playing “Hard to get?” interested sometimes, other times no interest seemingly

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    JonDoeJames12345
    Participant
    January 9, 2018 at 11:20 pm #162048
    Playing “Hard to get?” interested sometimes, other times no interest seemingly

    met this girl recently through my new basketball coach, its his daughter, we became freinds quick and started texting, opened up quick and clicked very nice. She flirted a good ammount, talking bout cuddling and snuggling and how she wishes she had someone; sometimes id flirt back she’d react, other times she wouldnt. ex dated her for only about a month towards end of 2017 summer, used her for sex, and she feels like shit about it, and has trust issues with him and her mom walking out on her life, she said she doesnt wanna date now but would still flirt and i’d flirt back, although she said she likes me and could see us being something in the future, and sometimes when making plans would either seem excited or avoid question?? very difficult read on this girl. So i started giving her space and cut off talking kinda quick after we had a lengthy discussion… do i ever try to pursue when shes over him or not? i will see her often bc of sports so its hard, or am i friendzoned?? help plz!!


    phoenix777
    Participant
    January 10, 2018 at 2:25 pm #162066

    You’re in a pickle. I’m in a situation like yours and it’s hard trying to figure out whether you should continue pursuing this, give her space, or move on all together.

    The girl you like not only got out a bad relationship, but also has issues with her mom and ex. I think that she likes you a lot but she is clearly not ready to go out with you. Considering her problems, she probably won’t be ready to date anyone for a long time. For your sake, you should look into other girls, while keeping her in the back of her head. If she comes around, then get her. If not, then at least you won’t have to worry about oneitis.


    crazya02
    Participant
    January 10, 2018 at 8:54 pm #162176

    I would let her come to you


    brad3145
    Participant
    January 10, 2018 at 10:10 pm #162177

    sometimes people who have trust issues really don’t want to be so paranoid about getting hurt, but fear is all they know. Sometimes people need help seeing people more clearly. If you really like her, make sure your feelings are black and white. Flirting is such a gray area behavior and does not always clearly communicate feelings. If you really like her, tell her point blank because that might be the only way she will believe there is a chance. With her sharing so much personal information with you, she’s probably trying to figure you out as well based on your reactions and is probably observing your behavior as well with other friends or other people who might be interested in you. Just make sure your feelings about her are communicated as clear as day. It might take a courageous step on your part, but under all her struggles is a courageous person as well, willing to meet you more than half way.


    JonDoeJames12345
    Participant
    January 10, 2018 at 11:22 pm #162180

    @phoenix777 Its unfortunate yanno, and sorry to hear that you are in a similar situation. Thats what im kinda doing right now, is just coastin and texting her casually every now and then as a friend, and i think i will just hangout and meet new people and then once summer rolls around when we will be forced to see each other a ton, see how she feels then, and if she still isn’t ready, dont sweat it and just move on with other people, i just hope she does come around eventually because she was seemingly every quality i want in a girl yanno :/


    JonDoeJames12345
    Participant
    January 11, 2018 at 9:00 am #162181

    @brad3145 yeah, thats what i think ill do for a while, not be aggressive and just kinda see if she reaches out to me, to see if she still shows interest, and every now and then ive sent her a message to keep her knowing im just not trying to block her out of life yanno?


    JonDoeJames12345
    Participant
    January 11, 2018 at 9:00 am #162182

    @brad3145 whoops, I was intending to reply to the person above you, but I did come out and tell her that I liked her and had feelings for her in conversation. That is when she replied back to me and said that she also had feelings for me as well, and she thought we might date in the future but just doesn’t think we could be in a relationship right now. So she seemingly likes me but just can’t handle a relationship right now, which I respect and get it’s just hard you know .