Please Help, follow up to my last post

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Please Help, follow up to my last post

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Phoebus
    Participant
    April 4, 2013 at 2:38 am #27716
    Please Help, follow up to my last post

    We have been together for 2 and half years the last 6 months have been a long distance relationship. My girlfriend and I fought a lot (verbally) She is in the her first year of grad school, I’m in my last year of college. We have argued a lot and it’s taken a toll on us. It actually interfered with her work a lot and she was in danger of failing out of her graduate program. Most recently she cut off communication with me. We got into a massive argument where we both went at it and she said she realized she didn’t need to deal with it anymore and wanted us to break up because we weren’t right for reach other. I begged her to stay with me and she agreed, but became more distant as time went on. She said she wanted space from me and I needed to focus on graduation. Her friend said to give her space that she was confused. (She originally wanted to break up with me over the argument, but stayed with me, went back and forth in between staying with me and not, distanced herself, told me to talk to other girls, then got angry at me because I suggested that may be a good idea WTF?, then stopped talking to me because she needed space)

    I am giving her space now but the last interaction we had I asked if it was another guy, if she was stringing me along or if she just really wanted me gone. I have told her multiple times that if she just wants to BREAK UP with me and be done with me please to tell me I will be cool about it. She responded saying, “I’m not stringing you on, you’re not my back up plan and I’m not talking to or dating other guys, despite the fact you think I’m a whore, I need to focus on myself and I cannot talk to you right now, especially now, you need to focus on graduation. And It wasn’t just one mistake it was many”….So…I told her “Well I understand, so If Im irredeamable please just break up with me now we can both put this behind us”. She didn’t respond at all, I have given her multiple easy outs to breaking up and she wont’ take them. The last thing I told her is that ill give her the space and time she needs.

    I’m confused because she’s angry at me for the things I said and she spent a lot of time on me that damaged her work and it’s been a stressful year, but she won’t break up with me. (This month is the hardest in her program she has to finish massive projects and arguing with me for hours doesn’t help) I love her and want to be with her, but what’s going on? I don’t understand why she just won’t break up with me. Also she won’t speak to me at all and is basically ignoring me. All I want is for her to just tell me to get lost but she won’t she keeps saying she’s not read to talk to me. (P.S. I have said mean things to her a lot when I got drunk, this is the third time it’s happened, and I said id never do it again before, this last time I called her a cunt) Yes i know im an ass, but she’s been very patient with me for along time. I just don’t get why she won’t just say get lost I’m done with you.

    Thanks for your help. I know this was an essay to read so I really appreciate it.

    knock knock
    knock knock
    Participant
    April 11, 2013 at 4:52 pm #28435

    Break up with her.

    Stop begging her to break up with you just so you can blame her for any problems. If you’ve been an ass and you’ve been an ass that can’t give her space, you’re just a comfort zone to her.

    You’re probably the biggest nuisance to her as she’s trying to fulfill a career and be successful in life. Blame yourself for hurting her academically just because you’re not getting the attention you crave out of her. You’re being selfish and the easiest way out is telling her you’re breaking up with her FOR her. If you really care about her you will care that she becomes a badass career woman who you’re proud to be with. Not some flunk out.

    Suck it up, admit you’re bored of these begging games and let this poor girl be. Don’t drunk dial her, delete any social media accounts and let her focus on a tough semester. If I were to look back at college and see I failed a grad program because of some annoying chic, I’d never forgive her or myself.

    Leave on decent terms and RESPECT her wishes. OR you could just pay for her semester, that’s probably not too expensive right??