Priorities and Effort Dating

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Priorities and Effort Dating

    Author
    Comments

  • AlexxA
    Participant
    May 4, 2017 at 1:44 pm #135403
    Priorities and Effort Dating

    Two dates already with guy. Texting all week. Today we make a plan for me to make the drive to him Saturday. Then he tells me “ I am going out day drinking with a buddy and then seeing a movie after so you and I will have to do our activity and then maybe grab some lunch before all that.” Clearly his priority is his friend. On our last date he couldn’t stay long because he had plans with his guy friends too.

    I don’t want to have to drive out to see him in the morning and leave by lunch time. This time around I was honest with him and told him it seemed as though he was very busy and I don’t see us getting all of that done in time and I would rather not rush our time together. He said he totally understood and said he would talk to his friend and if need be move our plans to Sunday. He got back to me saying that his friend has to work so Saturday is free for us. I appreciated that he listened to me and then tried to make it right, but does anyone else think this behavior is weird?

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    May 5, 2017 at 12:50 pm #135528

    no not weird.
    he listened. he accommodated. he acknowledged yoru side.

    what more did you want so early in the dating cycle?

    (aka at only 2 dates, it would be inappropaite for eithr of you to demand or expect that you are the priority in the other’s life. so that he had plans with friends is extremely reasonable. that he was willing to reschedule with friends for you was entirely gracious to you).

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by richiro richiro.

    pegasus16
    Participant
    May 8, 2017 at 2:19 am #135640

    I think he behavior is weird, it’s silly to make plans for a date to then say our time has to be cut short. Maybe it is inexperience?

    MplsMinnie
    MplsMinnie
    Participant
    May 9, 2017 at 8:45 am #135690

    The way he treats his long-term friends shows loyalty and respect, which are great qualities in a potential boyfriend. He’s known his friends for a long time. Has he known you as long? It’s okay for him to prioritize his friends for now, as they’re a big part of his life.

    In the future, you can ask him if he can find a day with more time that he can set aside for “an adventure” together. Plan a longer date, even just a drive somewhere, a scavenger hunt, or surprise him with tickets to a concert. It’s too soon in your relationship to expect him to toss over his friends for you. Eventually, you want to BE one of his friends and be treated with that kind of respect and accommodation. Give it time.

    lovie4you
    lovie4you
    Participant
    May 9, 2017 at 8:45 am #135728

    It sounds like the guy cared more for his friend than you that does sound weird did you ever hold hands or kiss and did he ever try to get close, chances are he could be bisexual or gay, now I’m not saying he is but that could be possible. I would move on and find a real man that will give you the attention you deserve.


    Louis Richards
    Participant
    May 9, 2017 at 11:14 am #135774

    it seems like he cares more about his friend than you tho