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DATING ADVICE FORUM

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    daniel
    Participant
    June 5, 2014 at 8:23 am #54517
    private

    Hey,
    How can I get a girl in a private place suitable for a kiss?
    For example, if I have dinner with a girl, on a date or whatever, then we head back to the subway (no one takes cars in this city), and part ways, when do I kiss her? in the restaurant, surrounded by people? In the metro surrounded by people, or do I pull her into some dark alley between the restaurant and the subway? None of these seem like good options.
    This is the only bit of information I could find on the internet, and even then, I don’t really know how to find these places/opportunities:

    “a car, lounge room or bedroom, by the beach, in a quiet street or when you’re parting ways at the end of the date.”

    Any advice?


    vvmackvv
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 8:50 am #54738

    subway is fine, or the walk home, the time when you guys part ways. dont mind the people just do it.


    Anonymous
    June 9, 2014 at 9:40 am #54783

    Any place is fine in the park or subway just make sure make it the sweetest!


    bsheels
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 12:48 pm #54810

    Just do it if it feels right and don’t worry so much about the place. Anywhere is good!


    Akillis
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 9:18 pm #54869

    dude just dont think and do if you think about it to much you going to mess it up be like Nike just do it


    Akillis
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 9:19 pm #54870

    just dont think and do if you think about it to much you going to mess it up be like Nike just do it


    Anonymous
    June 9, 2014 at 10:29 pm #54879

    Hi Daniel!!! I just want to say THANK YOU!!!! I so appreciate a guy actually thinking about what is appropriate and caring enough to get some advice about how and when and where to kiss a girl!!! I have soooo much respect for that, as it is not something I find many men do these days.

    I am not going to agree with all the advice above. Kissing in public matters more than most people think. Each person has a different reaction to it therefore I NEVER suggest to just go for it! Public displays of affection need to be okay for BOTH people! To what degree needs to be agreed upon between BOTH people. I personally would not appreciate for a guy to plant one on me in public if it was the first kiss. If I felt comfortable with that, I would send the signs to let him know it is okay for me as long as it is okay for him as well. It is such a personal thing. So my suggestion is to NEVER ASSUME that it is okay. This may sound cheesy but you need to ask. There are different ways


    Anonymous
    June 9, 2014 at 10:37 pm #54880

    to ask. And let me tell you….more women are so shocked to get asked anything in that department, that most of them would be entirely flattered that a guy actually asked to get into their space. So you can do the 80/20 kiss. You can see the full description in the movie “Hitch”. That is a wonderful way to ask a woman for a kiss. If she is not comfortable, she will communicate that you. If she is, she will communicate that you, but you at least give her a choice in the matter. You can also kiss her on the cheek and see how she responds. You can just flat out say, “I really would like to kiss you right now. May I?” Or….”I have been thinking about kissing you all night but I didn’t want to offend you in case it’s not comfortable for you in public. May I at least kiss you at your door?” I’m telling you, BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY!!! No girl can get mad at you for being cautious and respectful of making sure she is comfortable with you kissing her in public. And if she doesn’t


    Anonymous
    June 9, 2014 at 10:39 pm #54881
    Reply To: private

    appreciate that about you, then RUN RUN RUN the other way immediately! Everyone has a different opinion of PDA so find a way to find out her comfort level FIRST before just going for it!


    daniel
    Participant
    June 10, 2014 at 8:03 am #54891
    Reply To: private

    Thanks everyone for your comments. I appreciate it, as I had a hard time finding an answer to this question anywhere. heidigoodrich, I appreciate what you say, because, as someone who’s traveled, i can definitely tell that some cultures (like Spanish) are generally more comfortable than others (like Chinese), but if a girl is uncomfortable with pda, how do you suggest finding some place private?


    Anonymous
    June 10, 2014 at 9:32 am #54912
    Reply To: private

    The only real private place is behind closed doors. If she is uncomfortable with PDA, then you just have to deal with that and stop worrying about finding someplace private and spend more time focusing on developing other ways to connect with her. People rush into intimacy so quickly! Private moments will show up whenever it shows up. Most important is that you respect her space until there is a time that she feels cozy being intimate with you. Opportunities may show up at random times like maybe a bathroom is completely empty in the restaurant you are eating at, or maybe you are dining out and you have a table in the corner of an empty room, or maybe you are at an art gallery and there is a private moment behind a wall, or you are in an elevator, or maybe you are going for a drink at a hotel bar and you walk around their beautiful gardens or pool area (fancy hotels have gorgeous landscaping so it can make for a very romantic backdrop for a first kiss)


    Anonymous
    June 10, 2014 at 9:39 am #54913
    Reply To: private

    Either way, respecting her comfort level is of utmost importance. I would venture to say that most girls would value the first kiss much more if you waited for somewhere beautiful to kiss her vs. pulling her into an alley because there is a little privacy there. So kiss her hand instead, kiss her cheek, tell her you want to kiss her, but be patient. To come across a guy who has the patience and impulse control is a RARE find, so in some way, you are going to let the energy build by being patient and then draw her in so much more that way. You want to wait to kiss her until the moment is exactly right for your particular standards and I would imagine your standards are to not kiss a girl in a hidden alley. Just some food for thought. Hope this helps!


    daniel
    Participant
    June 15, 2014 at 8:41 am #55371
    Reply To: private

    Thanks for your advice.
    Hey, I’m posting again because I’m feeling depressed and like I’ll die alone. So today I was alone with this girl and found that so-called “perfect moment” to kiss her (at night at a park, with city lights around us- really romantic) but then I never acted. This has happened to me before. I have the perfect opportunity but for whatever reason I don’t actually kiss her.
    What’s wrong with me? Am I really just that much more of a coward than most guys? I’m 21 and have never kissed a girl and the longer I wait, the less confident I feel, and so of course, the harder it is for me to make a move.
    I’m at a point where I don’t even know what specific advice to ask for anymore.


    likemundeen
    Participant
    June 15, 2014 at 2:21 pm #55374
    Reply To: private

    Just go on a walk and if you find a nice place stop and enjoy it for a moment and then go for it!


    Anonymous
    June 15, 2014 at 11:19 pm #55377
    Reply To: private

    Ooooh! I get it now!! Let’s just address a few things here. First, I have come across plenty of men and women who were in their 20’s and very inexperienced in the intimacy department. AND THAT IS OKAY!!! Everyone has their own reasons. Coward??? No. Fearful??? Yes. I don’t know a person a live who isn’t dealing with fear about something. You are afraid to kiss a girl and that is just your particular phase right now. And that is all it is….a phase! I don’t know anyone who isn’t afraid trying something for the very first time. I was soooooo nervous before, during and after my first kiss. Fear is a window into the subconscious. It is a great way to really dig in deep to figure out who the heck you are at a core level. Yes you are afraid of the kiss, but that is just the surface. Fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear can only exist because our psyche is choosing to believe wholeheartedly in a lie. What’s the lie here?

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