problems with a girl I'm dating, acts different around people, very cold, HELP!

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problems with a girl I'm dating, acts different around people, very cold, HELP!

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    eric123
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 12:33 am #54762
    problems with a girl I'm dating, acts different around people, very cold, HELP!

    This is my first post, and it is going to be quite long, but it will be very well written, and I will be including as much detail as possible to ensure high quality responses. I will also be monitoring my thread and answering any questions people may have, and also discussing with all of you :).

    This is a girl I’ve known for a very long time. We recently started dating after I asked her out to a party a mutual friend was having. We drank a bit, and basically had an awesome time taking selfies and making out. Noting more happened. Since then we have gone on a few dates, all of which went awesome.

    The day after our most recent date (went really well, dinner+movie, lots of great conversation), we were at an event with a bunch of our mutual friends. When I arrived, she was standing by herself. I walked over to her, greeted her, and commented on how nice she looked.


    eric123
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 12:34 am #54763

    Before I could say anything else, she began talking with another friend who was close by, but her body language kind of boxed me out of potentially entering the conversation. Ok, kind of odd, I’ll go mingle elsewhere and catch up with her later. Well the same sort of thing continued all night, basically her being incredibly cold to me, while being very friendly and outgoing with others, kind of mocking me in a weird way.

    Let me make it very clear that I really like this girl, more than I’ve every liked any girl in my life. She has literally been in my dream every night since we started going out together. I think about her all the time, and really want to start a serious, boyfriend-girlfriend type of relationship with her. Pretty much haven’t cared about anything in my life besides her for the last month, I’m basically obsessed. I’m assuming this is what being in love is.


    Kayla
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 12:49 am #54766

    I think you should just ask her what’s going on. but be calm and don’t show any anger or anything even if you really care. I think it’s important to communicate

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  Kayla.

    eric123
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 8:50 am #54764

    I decided to try and get closer to her friends. At a dinner with her, and her two closest friends, I knew I had some serious work to do, as these girls were never particularly friendly with me. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I was absolutely on fire that night. I was more funny, charismatic and intellectual than ever before in my life throughout the course of a conversation. Her friends were basically in tears the whole night, laughing hysterically at all of my jokes, and also engaging in some really deep conversations about life, politics and movies.

    There was only one problem; Sarah was completely uninterested in all of this throughout the whole night. She barely smirked when I made a comment that left her friends howling with laughter, and she played games on her phone while myself and the other two engaged in deep conversations about the US economy and our opinions on modern day Hollywood films. Her friends commented on how they never knew how awesome I was until tonight.


    eric123
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 8:50 am #54765

    I decided to try and get closer to her friends. At a dinner with her, and her two closest friends, I knew I had some serious work to do, as these girls were never particularly friendly with me. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I was absolutely on fire that night. I was more funny, charismatic and intellectual than ever before in my life throughout the course of a conversation. Her friends were basically in tears the whole night, laughing hysterically at all of my jokes, and also engaging in some really deep conversations about life, politics and movies


    Anonymous
    June 9, 2014 at 9:41 am #54784

    Ask her..

    AndreCaro
    AndreCaro
    Participant
    June 9, 2014 at 4:55 pm #54840

    Some thing happen to me


    aura969
    Participant
    June 10, 2014 at 10:27 am #54926

    It appears she doesn’t share the same intense feelings you have for her. You mentioned you went on a few dates with her but nothing else happened, so maybe while in your dreams she was your girlfriend, in reality, her reality too, you were just a guy she went on a date with. You haven’t talked about exclusivity or about being boyfriend-girlfriend so why were you surprised that she was so cold? In any case, you need to talk things with her and find out what’s going on. You can also try and talk to an astrologer about your compatibility levels with her.


    Zebedee
    Participant
    June 10, 2014 at 11:55 am #54942

    Wow, you sound like a really great guy!

    This girl is not being honest with you about the way she feels and is also treating you badly by ignoring and ostracising you at social events especially when she is perfectly nice to you in private. It would break my heart if I saw someone being treated like this by anyone, particularly someone they are dating.

    For me, this comes across as emotionally manipulative behaviour, which will eventually start impacting on your self-esteem.

    My advice to you is to find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated ALL of the time, not just SOME of the time when she feels like it. Already you seem to have impressed her friends, so carry on as you obviously must be having some luck with the opposite sex… and will no doubt end up finding someone who is far better for you than this girl.

    Imagine if it feels this right with the wrong one, how good it will feel with the right one!

    Best of luck xx