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mrmysteryParticipantNovember 21, 2016 at 11:49 am #118021
Hi I’m a 39 year old male. I have had some issued in the last few years (mainly financial, some health) and haven’t had the chance to date. However things have improved and I’m ready to start dating again. I’ve signed up for various dating sites but I have some issues that I think are a hindrance. First is inexperience. I know this is pathetic but I’ve never been in a relationship before, and I’m shy and I’m not talkative in general. Second is work. I work in an industry that’s generally looked down upon. I won’t give you too much detail but it’s in the payday lending/check cashing/title lending industry. It’s also not a professional job, it’s one step up from a minimum wage. Third, I’m boring (at least I think). I don’t have any real hobbies and I haven’t got a chance to really travel. Except for college I’ve never left my hometown. Any advice on how to work around these challenges?
livelifej19ParticipantNovember 22, 2016 at 12:19 am #118033
Aw, I think you should put yourself out there more. It sounds like you have not even given yourself the chance, so how could anybody else?
If you feel insecure about your job, how can anyone else feel secure about it? People can read through these things. Start job hunting. Start doing things that you do not find boring. Really put yourself out there and maintain a stable life. Stability will attract a lot of women.
Re-invent yourself to become the man you’d feel most confident about. Become the man who you think would be irresistible for women. The key is believing that you are. There are thousands of women looking for a stable relationship. You sound like a great guy.
My advice is to change your wardrobe to clothes you feel cool in, eat out more, go to places where you’d like to meet someone (coffee shops, shopping malls, gyms, etc), do things that make you feel confident about who you are.
irishguyukParticipantNovember 24, 2016 at 3:17 pm #118096
Good for you to get back on the horse. Look out for yourself and be who you are, the rite person is out there.
The BearParticipantNovember 27, 2016 at 6:05 pm #118185
What are your strengths? Start with those. Do you have any talents? Clint Eastwood isn’t talkative either, and he’s cool. Be strong and silent. Do some volunteering to improve your sense of giving back, if you are a person with morals. Volunteering sometimes ends up offering a career change anyway. And you can always meet women that way. Don’t just rely on online dating. Try and meet people in the real word as well. Online can be fun and can work sometimes but it should;t be the only avenue.
Have something in your life that is exciting, that involves risk of some kind. If you don’t have wealth, you have to offer something else instead – excitement of some sort.
If you work in a call centre, don;t sit in a chair all day. It lowers your testosterone. Stand up and move around as often as you can.
seriousdadParticipantNovember 27, 2016 at 9:46 pm #118192
Some good advice in this thread.
You can also practice talking. Sure, this probably sounds silly but think ahead of time about some topics you’re comfortable talking about and think about how s/he would respond. Build a mental conversation. This will allow you to work out conversations pre-date.
Also, if you are on those sites (I am too BTW), it should show you some of their hobbies or likes. Educate yourself on them so you have a lot to talk about. Nothing is better than free flowing conversation.
In regards to your job, that may not even come up right away. It’s rare a women has directly asked me what I do.
Lastly, do what 1stworldview said – be yourself. Nothing wrong with preparing for a date but don’t be something you’re not.
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