Really Confused/Stood Up

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Really Confused/Stood Up

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    geekgoddess_84
    Participant
    November 9, 2014 at 9:39 pm #67295
    Really Confused/Stood Up

    I met a guy on a dating website about 3 weeks ago. We’ve spoken every day and I’ve woken up to a “Hi gorgeous” text (or something similar), and called me almost every night to talk for hours. We were supposed to meet for the first time last night, but all of a sudden I stopped hearing from him around 2pm on Friday. Some of the last messages I received from him was saying how much he’s enjoyed getting to know me, and how he couldn’t wait to meet me in person. I didn’t hear from him by the time I went to bed that night so I messaged him to say goodnight, and didn’t hear anything. I texted him Saturday morning and asked if we were still going out because I needed to arrange for a babysitter, and heard nothing, so I went out with friends instead. What would cause a guy to tell you he really likes you and is excited to meet and then just drop off like that? And what would you do if a guy stood you up? I’m super confused and hurt.


    Sontine
    Participant
    November 9, 2014 at 11:24 pm #67299

    I’ve had this happen before and have never been sure myself as to why. But being a single mother as well it seems pretty common that no matter how much someone likes you, once they consider taking on the role of surrogate dad they get freaked out by the responsibility. At least that’s how it seems for me. I’m sorry I can’t give you any real advice but maybe that’s a clue as to why he did that. I hope you figure it out!


    cmf8261
    Participant
    November 10, 2014 at 11:29 am #67347

    I’ve had that happen also. I have no children, so that wasn’t an issue. The issue was that he was not what he claimed to be. Found out wasn’t even his picture.

    certifiedgirlgeek
    certifiedgirlgeek
    Participant
    November 11, 2014 at 6:17 pm #67488

    I wouldn’t let the fact that you are a single mom ever play a factor in this. I am independent with no children and was passed over plenty of times for ladies with children. It’s is more likely that he was not who he claimed himself to be. You don’t know how many times I met a guy out and he was not as tall, young or fit as his profile and photos showed. I was even asked once, “Now that you’ve met me, are you disappointed?” I always responded in kind, but unless they made me feel safe, sexy and taken care of, chances were there was going to be no second date.
    Use this as a learning experience. Men that are the real deal will make a true effort: make an actual phone call to get to know you and set up a date sooner than later to meet you!
    Hang in there!


    geekgoddess_84
    Participant
    November 11, 2014 at 6:25 pm #67491

    Thank you ladies, for your comments! It really hadn’t occurred to me that he wouldn’t be who he said he was. I guess I’m THAT naive. Because he gave me first and last name, I know where he lives, family members names, etc I assumed he was being truthful. Plus I don’t understand what he gets out of stringing me along for 3 weeks and then never meeting up? So frustrating. And I sent him a final text Sunday morning just saying that I hoped everything was ok, and that I would eventually get an explanation because him no showing was really unexpected. I’ve heard nothing, and he hasn’t logged into the site we met on since 10/30. I would rather have ANY answer than nothing.

    certifiedgirlgeek
    certifiedgirlgeek
    Participant
    November 11, 2014 at 6:43 pm #67494

    I would rather have ANY answer than nothing.

    What if the answer was that he was married and just getting his jollies with you until his wife started asking questions?
    Or, he created a fake profile and life, and is just so lonely he does this to multiple women?
    What if he just thought he found something better?

    Would any of those answers make you feel any better? Or would they sting just as much and really make you doubt all men? Move forward, without him… It just means that the right guy is still out there desperately trying to find you!


    lostintranslation
    Participant
    November 12, 2014 at 5:12 pm #67525

    I’m sorry. That really sucks. I had a guy do the same thing. I finally did get a text from him a month later that said he was sorry and just decided the hour distance between us was too much. Who knows but you are certainly better off.