Really in need of an objective opinion…please

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Really in need of an objective opinion…please

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  • abbygreen
    Participant
    November 7, 2016 at 2:16 pm #116624
    Really in need of an objective opinion…please

    One month ago, my boyfriend broke up with me (after a 4 months relationship) because i was one step closer to kissing another guy while being drunk but stopped because i realised what i am doing. He found out about my “almost cheating” and didnt want to be with me anymore, even though i cried my heart out in front of him (i regreted too much). About a week before our break up, i wanted to be the one who made the move because he didnt have time for me anymore. He said he’ll wait for me as long as it takes etc. I couldnt stay without him so i called him again saying i dont care he doesnt have enough time for me, we will find a way. When he was the one who broke up with me, he said he wants to let time pass along with his feelings, even tough they always can come back(he said he needs at least 6 months) and seemed very superficial about this subject. I will let time pass, i’ll let him text me first whenever he wants but what do you think? Have we got any chance left?


    109ball02
    Participant
    November 7, 2016 at 8:35 pm #116676

    To your last sentence, no. If he comes back, it will only be for the physical you in every aspect, the mental you checked out and so did he. Drunk or not, kissed or not, you almost did, you were not on your bf’s mind while you were not in your right state of mind. There is such a thing as emotional cheating. As far as almost cheating, depends where you set your boundaries. Is cheating only being cough in bed with another man.. or is it anything leading up to that point. Like a phone call and a flirt. Know what I mean? In the end, you were checked out and lost his trust, so if he comes back it still wont work out, and he is basically telling you that. Sorry it ended it like this, next time around, try to put yourself in situations that promote trust and a trusting character. Being sober around other men, especially 4mo in, is what you need to do until the new guy can gauge your character


    KSIsuxs
    Participant
    November 7, 2016 at 10:13 pm #116677

    I actually been through a similar situation. It’s like what my mom told me once, if you guys were meant to be together you will end up together in the end no matter what. No matter how long it takes so just hang in there.


    sorrytail2
    Participant
    November 8, 2016 at 1:50 am #116684

    yeah if you are meant to be together thing will sort themselves out and he will give you another chance but dont let him mess you around its not worth it

    realist
    realist
    Participant
    November 8, 2016 at 8:17 am #116689

    It really depends on what your goals are, the strength of the past relationship, maturity/age of you two and stuff like that. I’m going to just imply that:
    you two are both mentally mature to the point where you are complete without NEEDING any other person to be happy, you were really emotionally and sexually intimate, and that your goal is to get back together.
    So 4 months isn’t a lot for a relationship, but if there was intimacy, it’s not that easy to forget, guy or girl doesn’t matter. What you could do/try doing is to just contact him once more, say you’re sorry for the slip-up, also self reflect on the relationship that you had, good and bad aspects, memorable experiences. Make it honest, and express why you pity this has happened. After all of this, it’s important to point out, that even though you made a mistake, the outcome is inadequate and that it’s NOT OK. Now if he does contact you after this, which he will, he might be infuriated, but don’t be timid.

    realist
    realist
    Participant
    November 8, 2016 at 8:24 am #116690

    Other than that – it’s your owm mentality you have to fix. Don’t let anyone treat you like a doormat, even if you adore that person really much. Also, talk. Constantly talking in a relationship, making everything clear as crystal, solving rather than putting an argument under the rug is going to pay out big time. Be aware of the other person, what is he/she feeling, just as much as you are about your own feelings. Be empathic. I cannot stress his enough, it’s extremely important in life, and even more important in relationships. Assuming you want a healthy relationship, with all the good and the bad, you have to invest, and work on it – both the relationship and yourself.