Recently Moved….VERY far for my boyfriend and now I am having worries.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Recently Moved….VERY far for my boyfriend and now I am having worries.

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2017 at 5:03 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!


    Justabutt
    Participant
    July 2, 2016 at 9:14 am #104337
    Recently Moved….VERY far for my boyfriend and now I am having worries.

    Okay – Sorry if this is a little winded but here goes.

    So I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 2 years – We met when he was attending a college in California and we hit it off easily. So then we dated for about a year, maybe a little more, in California before he transferred to Maryland to be closer to his mother. Our relationship has been online since then but recently, about 2 weeks ago, I had made a comment about us getting a house together in Baltimore. This way we could go back to how things were and then we wouldn’t have to worry about my work schedule and your class/summer job schedule (3 hour difference) any longer. He agreed and I transferred jobs in the greater Baltimore/D.C. area. I am 25 with an AA in Business management and a BA in Marketing, I am a part of a sales and marketing team for a large health insurance agency and he is 19 working on his BA in accounting.

    Recently things have been kind of hard.


    Justabutt
    Participant
    July 2, 2016 at 9:20 am #104338

    Since I moved in things have been hard, He doesn’t seem to show me any love. He has become very spoiled since he moved back east with his mother and his personality is a lot more… queen. Which I do not mind so much.

    I have been working nearly 11 hour shifts since moving out here, I come home after 7 pm to only have to do his and my laundry weekly, cook and do dishes, fix the living room and prepare his plates of food. I do so because I love him. . . but he doesn’t so much as thank me. I know he loves me because he refuses to have me sleep anywhere but in bed. A heated discussion when I worked past 11 one night in the office. He wouldn’t have it. I know he cares because he loves to play and wrestle with me. But I know I can be arrogant and self-righteous as well as self-deprecating at times. Sex has slumped but that is because he has a low-libido. I tend to think because I am starting to loose my figure and that I am older that he just doesn’t find me attractive.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Justabutt.

    coldturkey
    Participant
    July 2, 2016 at 12:45 pm #104342

    He is taking advantage of you.You need to end this relationship now.He sounds like he is a mama’s boy and that will not get you anywhere in the type of relationship that you deserve to be in.


    Justabutt
    Participant
    July 5, 2016 at 7:57 am #104340

    I sometimes discredit his idea’s and opinions which I know bothers him but I do so unknowingly. I don’t try and I do apologize when I do make those mistakes. He also can be cold, the slightest things can bother him. For instance last Saturday he and I wanted to cook breakfast together and since we didn’t do the dishes the mess bothered him. He started to get agitated working a kitchen with a sink full of dishes and I kinda took the heat. We didn’t cook because we were too busy fighting about it. We later discussed it and I found he thinks I am arrogant – Which I tend to once again discredit because I am, honestly, trying my best to stay composed and be well spoken around his family. Whom look to me to make him work, to get him out of his room because he can be such an introvert sometimes. But I know he doesn’t have the skill I have when it comes to communication and me trying to push for him to succeed just puts more stress on US. I make plenty for the both of us but I do get he needs


    Justabutt
    Participant
    July 5, 2016 at 7:57 am #104341

    to be more social and to build those skills. He cannot stay home all day and play games. I have troubles trying to motivate him without us fighting or him thinking I am an asshole pushing him to do things he doesn’t want to do. BUT THAT IS LIFE. I cannot figure out what to do because I feel like if this continues we wont be together anymore. He’s made comments about moving out, jokingly, but they hurt because this is such a finding US moment.

    On top of that the first holiday in about a year is being spent alone because I have to work and he decided to go see his step-mother and his biological father who is a homophobic jerk who has NEVER met me refuses to consider I exist. Plus he HATES his father but he couldn’t wait to be out of here and down in Pennsylvania with them.Which makes me feel like he prefers to be there than with me. . . I am a 25 year old man who is near tears because the person I foolishly fell in love with seemingly has such distance and coldness to him. Help!?


    DGOMAR
    Participant
    July 15, 2016 at 11:08 pm #105442

    You seem to be a 25 years old mentally mature guy trying to motivate an immature kid. You will feel drained.

    deepthinker4741
    deepthinker4741
    Participant
    July 18, 2016 at 6:43 pm #105737

    You made a big sacrifice moving across the country for him. And it doesn’t feel like you feel loved and appreciated for it. Sit him down and, without arguing, let him know how you feel. If he quickly gets defensive or tries to argue, I would call his maturity into question. But if he’s willing to listen and respond civilly, there could be a way to work through it.