Rejected.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Rejected.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    system311
    system311
    Participant
    April 15, 2015 at 11:23 pm #77321
    Rejected.

    So, I am basically looking for advice on where to go from here. I find myself trying to read between the lines, I feel there was a real connection there. But then I need some honest opinions. I may very well be trying to see something that really is not there.

    I felt there was a good connection. I may have spent a little too much time beating around the bush before going in to ask her out. But once I finally got up the courage to ask her, she said “I think you’re a great guy,but I don’t want things to be weird at work and I am kind of talking to someone. I think you’re really sweet and… something something something.”

    I want advice on- is this the end? can she still be won over?

    I will elaborate in a comment post about why I felt the connection was there and why I was somewhat surprised at such a rejection (or at least such a common, nice-guy “friend-zone” one).

    system311
    system311
    Participant
    April 15, 2015 at 11:27 pm #77323

    So, I will start from the beginning. I work with this girl. Technically, I am her boss though I do not really directly supervise her department and have little interaction in this capacity. We had known each other through work, but had not had a whole lot of direct personal interaction. We had joked around and talked on a few occasions.

    One day, she tells me “Hey! I need to tell you something!” I was busy at the time, but later we ran into each other in the elevator and she told me that she had had a dream about me. In this dream I had proposed to her and we were engaged and going to get married. This was very out of the blue. At the time I had not really thought of her that way and we laughed and joked about the dream.

    The joke was ongoing… She would ask “where’s my ring?”

    Eventually, I bought her a ring-pop and fake proposed.

    system311
    system311
    Participant
    April 16, 2015 at 8:38 am #77324

    Also, I had made plans to go to the beach. I told someone at work about it and she was there and said that she and her friend were going at the same time. She talked to me here and there leading up to that about us hanging out while in Charleston.

    When we had both arrived in Charleston, she messaged me and we talked a lot during the trip and ended up spending an entire day at the beach together. This day was spent with other work friends as well, though so it was nothing romantic or intimate. But, comments were made, very subtly that made me think there was some interest.

    It wasn’t really until this day at the beach that I became really interested in her. I might have approached different otherwise. A few weeks have gone by now. We talk and joke as much as before. She shows me more interest than other guys and still jokes about us getting married, though she sometimes acts aloof when I want her to show real interest.

    system311
    system311
    Participant
    April 16, 2015 at 8:38 am #77325

    I found myself hanging out after work just to spend time with her (usually bc she would insist that I do. I am a kitchen manager at a restaurant/bar and she is a bartender.) I think this has ended up giving her the wrong idea. I would drink a little too much bc I would stay too long to hang out with her, and she would continue to make me free drinks.

    She doesn’t drink a lot and I think she now gets the idea that I do. I also think that I have given in too much to her whims and have not been standing up and showing my masculine side enough.