Relationship advise after 4 months

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Relationship advise after 4 months

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    xxcohxx
    Participant
    January 12, 2014 at 7:29 am #45921
    Relationship advise after 4 months

    Hi, heres my recent background first.. 2 years ago I moved to Australia with my wife and son, we only lived there for 1 year as we couldn’t settle.. 2 months after we returned my wife of 16 years left me, we had been together for 20 years, I’m 38.
    Heres the new relationship bit.. I’ve had a couple of short dates since she left me but 4 months ago I met someone in a bar, she came over talking to me and I’ve been seeing her ever since. I really like her but don’t feel any spark or chemistry, I do really like her personality and think she’s a great person but not sure what my feelings are towards her, when I’m not with her I think to myself should I let her go, but when I’m with her I enjoy her company and wonder why I would want to let her go, but thats normally after a few drinks.. everything felt ok over xmas but in January I feel flat..I think she has helped me to get through my first xmas without being with my family.


    xxcohxx
    Participant
    January 12, 2014 at 7:38 am #45922

    ..sorry I ran out of typing space… so she’s also in a similar position, she left her husband 1 year ago, she also has a child. I have helped her over the last 4 months by getting her out of the house she shared with her husband and finding somewhere else, I’ve spent lots of time with her and weekends away, I know she really likes me (a lot)
    I just feel I have too much on my plate at the moment, I haven’t worked for over 2 years as I sold my business before moving to Australia, and then when I returned I’ve been sorting out the separation, still in the process! its all amicable but my ex wife is with someone else so I do find that hard at times too. My 14 year old son is my main priority but I feel lost with everything else in my life. One minute I’m living in Australia which was my life dream and took me years to plan, and now I’m back in the uk, separated, no business and don’t know what to do with my new relationship, all really scary. Sorry if this sounds deep


    Vigalantejustice
    Participant
    January 13, 2014 at 2:24 pm #45950

    Well, I wouldn’t force anything, take your time with this, its a huge new part of your life. Honestly, I would let it play out, there really doesn’t seem like there is any reason to break up, give it a little more time, maybe take a break from her, and see if you feel anything. I’m really sorry about your situation though, best of luck


    xxcohxx
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:40 pm #45967

    thanks, I was thinking of writing down my thoughts, not about how I feel about her as I couldn’t do that, it wouldn’t be very fair, but more about all the other things that are going around my head, just so she knows why I might be slightly vacant at times, I find it hard to talk about certain things and find it much easier to put it on paper, it would be my way of saying “I don’t know where my head is at” that way she can’t kid herself that things could get serious..not at the moment anyway, I know its me being weak but its my way of buying some time.


    xxcohxx
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:40 pm #45968

    (not sure I’m using this site correctly..) but thanks, I was thinking of writing down my thoughts, not about how I feel about her as I couldn’t do that, it wouldn’t be very fair, but more about all the other things that are going around my head, just so she knows why I might be slightly vacant at times, I find it hard to talk about certain things and find it much easier to put it on paper, it would be my way of saying “I don’t know where my head is at” that way she can’t kid herself that things could get serious..not at the moment anyway, I know its me being weak but its my way of buying some time.


    Lluvia
    Participant
    April 7, 2014 at 6:40 pm #45993

    Give it time…let things flow. It might be a bit too soon for both of you coming out of a relationship / starting a new relantioship.
    Allow time to recover.