Scared of being hurt

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Scared of being hurt

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    arose89
    Participant
    September 6, 2015 at 3:41 pm #85201
    Scared of being hurt

    I’ve been dating a man for a month now. We’re 25 and 26. On the surface, he seems wonderful. We had our 7th date last night, he bought me flowers, we have a great time together. He’s said some really nice things and we’ve spent most weekends together since we met.

    We’re not yet exclusive, it’s too soon to discuss that, but I am incredibly scared of being hurt. It sounds very petty, but he continually ‘likes’ photos of other girls on Instagram (user accounts, girls he’s met in the past) and whilst we’re not exclusive I’m so scared that he could be a ‘player’ and end up hurting me. I wouldn’t normally be bothered, but it’s more than just a few ‘likes’ – it’s about 20 a day and he’s got a huge following of women on the site.

    Is there anything I can ask or say to him which might put my mind at rest? How I feel is totally ridiculous I know, but I’m so nervous. I’m growing to hate technology and feel like it’s turning me into a anxious mess…


    ThoughTeddyBear
    Participant
    September 7, 2015 at 12:58 am #85213

    How does he act when you guys are together? Is he distracted by othe attractive women when you are on a date? Give the guy a chance and try not to get too attached until he seems more committed. Remember it’s a big world filled with many interesting people.


    madlyinlove3
    Participant
    September 7, 2015 at 7:49 pm #85247

    Honestly, and I know how hard and nerve-wrecking doing this can be, I would ask him. Something like…
    “Hey! I notice that you like a lot of girl’s Facebook posts. Are you sure I’m the only “one?”

    That may be too blunt, Fit it to how you want it, but first I would give it some time. See what happens. Pay close attention to his actions such as if he’s constantly looking at other women when you’re with him. Just try to keep an open mind and don’t be too nervous!

    Good luck!


    sagelove3000
    Participant
    September 14, 2015 at 1:47 am #85363

    I can say I’ve felt the same and been in a similar situation. But I’d say if you have doubts about his true character and who he really is, may that be relationship goals or respect to the relationship, give it time. No one wants to be serious and caring to only have their partner end up being someone completely different then they thought they’d be. You being comfortable in a relationship and getting what you need should always come first and if the social media stuff bothers you then I say ask him about it. There’s nothing wrong with saying “hey what does this mean to you and what’s your intentions of doing this”


    atomicommandude
    Participant
    September 14, 2015 at 8:19 am #85382

    dont worry about his business or if he is a player. you guys arent exclusive so do your thing and let him do his until you guys mutually decide exclusivity. you care, i see that, but do not let that fear from your heart and doubt ruin the good thing that you already have. in reality we are our worst enemy because our minds betray us and we make irrational decisions and have altered thoughts that destroy the course of a healthy relationship. focus on the good things! best of luck.