She cancled on me, where do I go from here?

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She cancled on me, where do I go from here?

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    airmattress1
    Participant
    August 7, 2014 at 1:42 pm #58974
    She cancled on me, where do I go from here?

    I used to work with this girl, and when I was let go she sent me a text saying she would love to grab dinner or coffee or do something fun. I said sure and we went to dinner with a mutual friend. A few days later, I told her we should go out sometime, just me and her. She said she’d like that, and I told her we should catch a movie and that Monday night would be perfect.

    We didn’t text for about 4 days, and Monday afternoon comes around and I ask whats a good time for her. She texts me back an hour later saying she was sorry but she forgot she had a meeting at 7:30 and wouldn’t be able to go out today. She apologized for the short notice and ended it with hopefully we can try again.

    I told her it was cool, and to let me know when shes free sometime.

    Funny thing is, I had absolutely zero interest in this girl when I worked with her. Literally. Aside from joking around and telling her how weird she was there was really nothing there. I don’t know where to go from here.


    skullmohawk
    Participant
    August 7, 2014 at 2:57 pm #58979

    The ball is in her court, sounds like you have nowhere to go, 4 days is a long time of you are into someone to go without even a text, maybe you should take a rain check on her and seem busy too so she has a challenge instead of well whenever you are free I am here, that’s a good way to end up as a plan b


    Anonymous
    August 7, 2014 at 7:07 pm #59007

    The fact that she said “we can try again” leads me to believe she honestly does want to hang out with you again. She did not have to say that if she wasn’t really interested in you. But Skullmohawk is right…the ball is in her court. I would be upfront and honest and tell her to let you know if she is interested then cool, but if she is not, that she should let you know and no game playing! Good luck!


    airmattress1
    Participant
    August 7, 2014 at 9:59 pm #59009

    I’m begging to realize saying “let me know when you’re free” was a terrible idea. Asking for a rain check didn’t even cross my mind.

    There’s no going back though. I was thinking about texting her next week but even that seems like a bad idea. How can I even initiate conversation at this point?

    Damn.


    skullmohawk
    Participant
    August 8, 2014 at 1:04 pm #59043

    Sounds like if you haven’t heard anything back she has switched gears and is focusing on someone else, or perhaps you were a distraction from someone else, women generally have about 3 options if they are attractive. You yourself cannot help any of that but you could be more sure of yourself, there has to be something that highly interests you that you can talk about when you do “chat” as far as initiating a conversation goes, but first you have to get her to meet up with you again, and this time it’s gotta be reverse psychology, you are the catch, don’t think about shit do it or don’t, what would a hot lady do if she wanted something? Humor might not be your strong suit but if you can make her laugh and not be super serious you might get her attention. maybe you could say hey I’m getting ready to go work at a slave labor camp for the rest of my life in china I want a good memory to take with me there and have already asked my top 2 choices of female friends etc something clever tho


    Anonymous
    August 8, 2014 at 9:00 pm #59079

    Hi airmattress….I’m a bit confused here….you said you had no interest whatsoever when you were working together. Why do you have interest now?? Did something happen that she caught your attention for some reason??? I am wondering if you all of a sudden became interested just because she showed interest. Would love more detail


    airmattress1
    Participant
    August 11, 2014 at 9:12 am #59083

    I’m not sure, to be honest. I just did. I haven’t been on a date in a long time. I weighed 253 pounds before I moved to Dallas when I was living in Florida. I never left the house. I was miserable. I’m at 186 pounds a year later and I leave the house and socialize with ease.

    She showed interest in me. and I’ve grown fond of her in the past few weeks.

    Don’t get me wrong, she’s cute… But I never pictured myself going on a date with her. Or her reaching out and texting me. After I got let go from my last job, she just sent me a text out of the blue. I’m assuming she asked a mutual friend for my number. I would love to get to know her better. I simply don’t know how to do it at this point without her losing interest in me. I don’t want to seem too available, but at the same time, I want her to know I’m interested in her. Asking her out again, this early, would kill my chances. She’s been on my mind all week, it’s really bumming me out. I almost wish she never texted me to begin with.


    airmattress1
    Participant
    August 11, 2014 at 9:12 am #59084

    Strange, I posted a comment and it didn’t show up.


    texascoder
    Participant
    August 17, 2014 at 6:46 am #59521

    Internet timeout derpage, probably

    On-topic: She ever get back in touch with you? Sounds to me like you have a chance.


    Anonymous
    August 17, 2014 at 12:39 pm #59523
    Reply To: She cancled on me, where do I go from here?

    Hi airmattress1….I want to invite you to consider this is more about you than her. Being overweight hits the self esteem super hard! It’s like what you said….you never left the house. There are reasons you were overweight in the first place….internal reasons that I am hoping you have connected to. Just because you have lost the weight, does not mean the low self esteem disappears. Yes…losing weight definitely gives the self esteem a HUGE BOOST, but there still can remain some deep core low self esteem issues if you have never really gone into that space for healing. It sounds to me like you are depressed on some level because you are feeling rejected….whenever we “mull” over something or allow hurt feelings to linger, it is an instant sign that deeper issues have been triggered by the current situation. She gave you a bit of attention and hope and has not followed through with it.


    Anonymous
    August 17, 2014 at 12:45 pm #59524
    Reply To: She cancled on me, where do I go from here?

    Now you are heading into the thinking, “I should have done this or said that” vs. staying present with WHAT IS! You were just being you and that is enough. If someone is not inspired by that, then that is nobody’s fault. It just is what it is. You gotta love yourself so much and BELIEVE you are the most amazing person and if she is not able to connect to that….it’s okay! Another girl will! Your challenge is to connect to that amazingness yourself first before you want someone else to. Let the idea of her go and work on being okay even though she has not responded the way you were hoping. Then as you heal and become more connected to yourself, you will attract more woman who are on the same page as you! AND, you will be able to handle rejection so much easier! I get rejected all the time! It used to bum me out for quite awhile, but now I am totally okay with it!!! I don’t take it personal anymore. That is your goal!