She has commitment issues, what should I do?


She has commitment issues, what should I do?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    April 30, 2014 at 12:08 pm #52036
    She has commitment issues, what should I do?

    We’re in college and we’ve been dating for a little over 3 months. We’ve been out multiple times, hang out all the time, and see each other most days, cuddling, holding hands, PDA, flirting and all that stuff. I’ve bought her flowers, done little things to cheer her up, visit her at work, etc. I pretty much considered us bf/gf without the label. Two and a half weeks ago we had a DTR and discussed that we’re not going to label what this is, but that we’re going to keep in contact over the summer (we’ll be 3 hours away) and sort of see where it goes, she said that she likes me and she’ll miss me over the summer. She just didn’t want the pressure that comes with a label to affect things. On Monday, she sat me down and told me that she’s been nervous about things ever since we talked, she has commitment issues that she needs to work through and she doesn’t think this will end up being what I want it to be (a relationship) she said that she probably needs some space.

    April 30, 2014 at 12:09 pm #52037

    She also added in trite things like “I really enjoy our friendship” and “I really like hanging out with you” etc. I don’t think it’s possible that she changed her mind about liking me in these 2.5 weeks, right? I think she still likes me and is just scared? What do I do here? I really like this girl and I don’t want to just let her go, and I don’t just want to throw away everything that’s happened in the past three months. Two questions:
    1. Does she not like me anymore, or is she just scared?
    2. What should I do??

    May 5, 2014 at 9:07 am #52177

    It sounds to me that she’s afraid of how things will be after you guys become ‘official’. For your first question, you pretty much answered it yourself by saying in your post: ‘She just didn’t want the pressure that comes with a label to affect things.’

    Either that or she’s unsure of her feelings towards you. By her being unsure of her feelings, she cannot guarantee ANYTHING… meaning if she didn’t want to hurt you, the best answer that she could give you if you wanted a real relationship with her would be a NO, due to the simple fact that she’s unsure about you and her.

    For your second question, you have a couple of options that you could take…
    1. Wait it out… don’t do anything and proceed normally like always, wait for HER to act.
    2. Talk it out… talk about your guys’ relationship in general to find out FOR SURE how she feels towards you NOW.

    Either way, I hope for the best for you and your girl.