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minkyParticipantApril 29, 2015 at 5:21 pm #78089
Need some advice…Went out on a date with a girl last week and have been texting on and off since. I decided to try and call her instead of texting (because that’s what adults do) and have not been able to get her on the phone for whatever reason. Finally, I send her a text saying that “I give up trying to call you. I think your phone doesn’t like me.” She texts back saying that she is out with friends but will call me back later if I give her a time. So we set a time, but she never calls. Instead, she sends a text 3 hours later saying she just got home and it was super late for her. Then she sends a random picture of what she had for dinner….She doesn’t mention forgetting to call me or apologizes.
I am confused. Is she interested and want me to call or text her again or what?
Not sure what my next move should be…if any.
Advice or thoughts on this?
LorMD1266ParticipantApril 30, 2015 at 1:52 am #78120
I think you are misunderstanding the situation, but I would need more information before saying for sure. In my opinion (I am a clinical psychology PhD student), you are having some misconceptions about the social norms relating to text and phone based communication. Also i’m still relatively young (26) so I also have experience in the social norms of the day…a lot of people regard talking on the phone with someone of the opposite sex as a cognitively and emotionally more intense task, much more so then sending a few sentences by text (at least these days, and your misconception is that “adults call”…this isnt true anymo). You don’t say much about how the date went…so how did it go??? How did you meet her and do you see her on a regular basis (in class or at work etc)? If she doesn’t feel enough attachment or comfort with you, she will probably avoid speaking to you on the phone…this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it may mean that you need to get to know her better first.
minkyParticipantApril 30, 2015 at 2:10 am #78121
Thanks for your comment.
We met online and had one date which was good fun. We had dinner and drinks at a live music place, with great conversation and generally a really nice time.
We haven’t seen each other in person since, but have been texting back and forth regularly.
She is a freelance writer but funnily enough, is horrible at texting.
Btw, I have always initiated the text conversations and have tried to call her a few times after she gave me her number, but can’t ever seem to get her on the phone.
I think I have shown that I am interested, but starting to feel a bit like I am doing all the chasing.
LorMD1266ParticipantMay 1, 2015 at 2:39 am #78237
If it were me, I would spend a few days or maybe a week concentrating on something else (depending on how often you usually text) and just wait and see if she contacts you; chances are, if you don’t hear from her by then she has probably has different thoughts about where she wants your relationship to go. I would see how it plays out and if she doesn’t contact you, maybe try texting her again…but not to talk, ask her if she wants to go out with you again. If you keep texting her just to talk, it may end up being dragged out a long time without a happy result in the end. Either way, you’ll find out what she thinks. The most important thing to keep in mind, however, is to use your best judgement…in general if you over-think things like this, you will choose wrong.. It sounds like you already feel that you are putting in all the effort without much in return, this might well be an indication that she is trying to give you a hint that she is not interested in being more than friends.
JeffSParticipantMay 4, 2015 at 11:14 am #78367
I don’t do well with people who can’t answer their phones/texts. What I usually do is either stop chasing them down or ask them out again. If you can’t call, its fine to ask her out again via text.
MarkConnorParticipantMay 18, 2015 at 6:38 am #79183
some people just a don’t like to call. Either try text or they meet face to face to discuss stuff. If she’s a particularly busy person, scheduling time for a call can be pretty inconvenient.
tman1234ParticipantMay 19, 2015 at 8:41 pm #79363
This kinda happened to me. Overall, I stopped perusing, and never heard from her again. And if she perused me ever again, I’d say to her, sorry, I’m only interested in getting to know people, not texting ect, and give her one more chance and explain to her how she made me feel, and if she wants to meet up, cool, if not, then oh well. Someone who is interested would not play games or be flaky.
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