shes a bit upset with me

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shes a bit upset with me

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    max121212
    Participant
    January 24, 2016 at 4:08 pm #92043
    shes a bit upset with me

    I’ve been seeing this girl for 3 months now, due to her past relationship issues shes had that I won’t get into, we’re essentially just friends with benefits at the moment, but were both willing for it to be more and are monogamous with one another. She just has some trust issues, but their totally warranted from what shes told me she has every right to feel that way. Anyway, I went out with her, her older brother, his girlfriend/her best friend, and a friend of his. We had a great night out and were going to do some predrinking b4 the bar. i don’t really drink, i just got back into drinking and I kinda over did it. I didn’t make an idiot of myself but because i drank so fast I got sick. When we were going to go out to the bar she ended up just wanting to take me back home to make sure I was ok. I spent the night and now shes a bit upset with me because her night was cut a little short (we would have only stay like an hour before heading back to her place) How can I make it up to her


    Stari_moj
    Participant
    January 26, 2016 at 3:07 pm #92174

    I dont understand what is there to make up, you felt sick and went home. If she liked you she wouldnt mind at all, and she would even be compassionate about it.


    llollsy
    Participant
    January 28, 2016 at 10:54 pm #92411

    ^^ yup


    Anonymous
    January 29, 2016 at 8:46 pm #92447

    totally agree! This girl is HIGH maintenance. She is upset with you because you cut HER night short. Where is her understanding? If this was a consisent pattern between you guys, then yes, she is warranted frustration, but it isn’t. This is a one off thing and if she wants to be angry at you for this….then holy cow you are in for a loooooong road because this is so minor. I can’t even imagine how she will respond when something bigger happens…and it will! And btw…i don’t care what she went through before you….she is NOT warranted to hold any of that against you because you happened to be a guy. I have stories up the yin yang with how I have been mistreated. I also take FULLresponsibility that I chose to participate, but my goal is to ALWAYS work on healing whatever mishaps occurred and viewing the next guy with a CLEAN slate. DO NOT allow her to treat you with caution and mistrust because of what someone else did!!!


    Anonymous
    January 29, 2016 at 8:51 pm #92448

    Many men get sucked into thinking they can be the “night in shining armour” and help her heal by proving to her that not every guy is like that. It’s a nice gesture, but it also sets up the tone where she is relying on YOU to help her gain trust again and then you get to be the “hero” therefore you now have value and worth for her. THIS IS VERY UNHEALTHY!!! She needs to heal herself….that is not your job to fix her. Of course you can support her along the way, but all in all, it is NOT your job to rescue her from the choices she made before you. That pain is VERY necessary for her to learn her lesson. Let her hurt and mistrust and she if she will fight through that and come out the other end. A woman (or person for that matter) who isn’t willing to take that journey means a ton of blaming and victim mentality with whomever she chooses next. Anytime you do something wrong, or not right enough, you will be blamed. YUK! Be aware of who you are inviting into your space!


    Anonymous
    January 29, 2016 at 8:53 pm #92449

    “That pain is VERY necessary for her to learn her lesson. Let her hurt and mistrust and see if she will fight through that and come out the other end.”

    gotta love the typos! lol


    yoga2424
    Participant
    January 30, 2016 at 9:49 am #92461

    If she really cares about you she wouldn’t be upset with taking care of you.