She's definitely attracted. But how can I keep her interested?

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She's definitely attracted. But how can I keep her interested?

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  • MereModesty
    MereModesty
    Participant
    October 12, 2016 at 2:24 am #113834
    She's definitely attracted. But how can I keep her interested?

    Disclaimer: This post is probably going to be pretty long. I will use several comments.

    Hi everyone.

    I’ve asked many of my personal friends and family members for advice with this situation, but they keep giving me generic advice (or not any) that isn’t that helpful. So I thought it was time for some different perspectives.

    Just some basic background information about me first: I’m 22 years old, male, white, a 5th-year undergraduate psychology major, not very privileged financially, work two part-time food service jobs, and I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life, despite wanting that more than anything else. That’s primarily because I’m very picky and tend to fixate on (some would even call it ‘obsess over’) the few women in my life that have interested me (for months and sometimes even as much as a few years) and haven’t had much success with any of them, but also because I don’t exactly go out very much (if at all) and socialize because, well… I don’t particularly enjoy it

    MereModesty
    MereModesty
    Participant
    October 12, 2016 at 8:50 am #113835

    Without going *too* much into detail, basically…

    A beautiful 33 year old light-skinned black woman with 4 children really caught my eye at my new job I got back in March (which I am still working at). It’s not her real name, but we’ll call her Ashanti. Initially, it was nothing more than an intense coworker crush because I didn’t think I had a snowball’s chance in hell with her. She’s 11 years older than me, likely had many guys to choose from (if she didn’t already have a partner/husband), I didn’t seem like her type, I’m extremely inexperienced, and most dangerous of all: she was one of my supervisors. (I know it’s technically not allowed via company rules, but it’s a pretty laid back environment and I don’t even care if I lost my job there if it meant I could be in a relationship with her.)

    Well… about a month and a half or so into working there, I became too open and admitted to a fellow coworker that I was a virgin during conversation. And after this point…

    MereModesty
    MereModesty
    Participant
    October 12, 2016 at 8:51 am #113836

    P started to take interest in me. Specifically, she came over to my work station one slow evening with a big smirk on her face, she said, “Hey T, can I ask you a personal question?” (I will refer to myself as “T”.)

    “Sure,” I responded.

    “…Do you have a girlfriend?”

    Completely shocked, I said, “…Uh, no. I don’t.”

    “Well… have you ever dated a black woman before?”

    “No actually, I haven’t. I’ve actually never had a girlfriend.”

    Quite surprised, she asked, “Wow, really? Why is that? Is that because you’re shy?” She smiled. “You seem like the shy type.”

    “Well, that’s part of the reason, but it’s mostly just because I’m really picky and haven’t had any success with the few women I’ve been interested in.”

    “Wow… Well, I can understand being picky. Like, I’m not attracted to bigger men. That’s just… too much.”

    “Ha, it’s funny you say that. I’m actually the opposite: I don’t really like skinny women.”


    109ball02
    Participant
    October 13, 2016 at 2:56 pm #114023

    wow ok, so how to keep her interested. You mean, how to make her want you: just be yourself. Your true self will show right away if you let it, or 6 months from now when things naturally cool off. If you want her to be interested, be you. That will interest her. Don’t be fake or put on a show or be on your best behavior. She will know its fake, and that will make her loose interest.


    109ball02
    Participant
    October 13, 2016 at 2:57 pm #114024

    To be clear, thats step one. After that its the usual, if you are actually interested in her… show it. Take interest in her life, her mind, her interests etc. Show that you are interested in her, compliment and encourage, be a listening ear, buy her gifts.

    MereModesty
    MereModesty
    Participant
    October 17, 2016 at 8:35 pm #114404

    wow ok, so how to keep her interested.

    Hey man, thanks for the reply, and sorry for the late reply. I actually wasn’t even that close to finishing explaining the situation but I had stopped because for whatever reason, I was not seeing the comments I was posting. And now I’m seeing them. I tried to make a second replacement thread, but I don’t think that ever materialized.

    Anyway, if you can, please update your advice to be more specific to my situation, which I have finished explaining here: http://pasted.co/891eecee

    Thanks!