She's left me scratching my head…


She's left me scratching my head…

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    March 4, 2015 at 11:33 am #74688
    She's left me scratching my head…

    There is a girl I’ve been friends with but we recently started texting on a regular basis. Through the texts I started to notice how much we actually had in common. I’d never considered her being interested in me, and frankly, I wasn’t interested in her. (she has a boyfriend and is 7 years younger than me – not that the age bothers me). I was beginning to form a crush on her. In mid conversation one day she texts “what’s for dinner tonight?! lol”. Long story short: she came over to my place, had a good time. Here’s the kicker, I didn’t think anything of the evening til she was getting ready to leave. She said she should probably get going and walked towards the door, and at this point there was some small talk, but she paused for what felt like 30 seconds and then said (again) she should get going. Was she waiting for me to make a move? That’s not me and it wouldn’t have been fair to her b/f. Since that night the texting has really backed down, and I’m lost as to what happened.

    March 7, 2015 at 5:44 am #74974

    Probably she was waiting for you to make a move, yes.
    She may feel rejected because you didn’t make that move or she just lost interest, because she may think you weren’t more “proactive”.

    For now, hoping she didn’t lost her interest in you…
    If I were you, I’d invite her again, saying somthing like “I’ll be cooking something special tonight! bla bla bla” And ask her to see what happens. But don’t go overboard. Relax and stay calm. Then use a bit physical touch (kino) and see how she reacts. If she corresponds to your touch and moves, you’ll be free to escalate.
    But always be respectful. Just don’t miss a chance when it is given to you!

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Sami Sami.

    March 7, 2015 at 5:38 pm #74976

    I agree, she probably was waiting for you to make a move and since you didn’t show “interest” she is probably leaving the ball in your court instead of trying to persue anything.

    It actually shows she has self respect that she is not chasing you. A “lady” shouldn’t have to run after a man and if she feels that there is “no interest” she would back away.

    Show her that you are interested, if you are 🙂

    March 7, 2015 at 8:29 pm #74980

    Go for it man. She likes u!!
    March 8, 2015 at 12:11 am #74993

    I recommend not over analyzing. Pick up the tempo on the texting. Once you feel comfortable again, send her a simple text ‘would you like to do another dinner date?’. If she’s not inclined, she will let you down politely, If she accepts, then be serious about the dinner, Sure your interest in your planning, preparing and presentation.

    March 9, 2015 at 6:28 pm #75091

    Thanks for the good input, guys! I hope to get another chance, just need to see how things are going with her boyfriend (ie: if they’re on the outs)….cus we all know if she does something WITH me, she’ll do it TO me.

    March 10, 2015 at 5:46 am #75101

    If you’re going to consider a girl who has a bf, wait until she doesn’t have a bf to fall in love. Take it really slow, especially with the established friendship. You’re out of “How quick can I round the bases” territory, because by knowing her for sometime, you’ve already been playing the game. And you aren’t off to a fast start, so that shouldn’t be your MO. Relish the week after your random meetups, about how much you think about her, and then let it fade. Keep in contact at least every month, but if she has backed off, its not likely she just lost interest. Your dismissal to her advances has said to her that that wasn’t appropriate for you. Pride, shame or guilt may brew in her mind, so feel free to ease her of it; but don’t rush to phase two of your two part plan to steal the woman and live happily ever after. If you’re to find a woman whom you’ll never have doubts will leave you, wait until she’s ready to come to you without bf baggage because she has thoughtfully chosen you.

    March 10, 2015 at 1:26 pm #75133

    She was waiting for you to make a move – but dont get mixed up with someone attached. If she can cheat in a long term relationship once, she is capable of doing it again.

    March 11, 2015 at 4:59 pm #75216

    Dude, if she has a boyfriend stay away. She’s willing to cheat on him, she’d cheat on you. Don’t get involved.

    March 14, 2015 at 12:04 pm #75367
    Reply To: She's left me scratching my head…

    She was waiting for you to make a move so make a move now and ask her out.