Should I ask him out?

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Should I ask him out?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Batgirl42
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 5:38 pm #137098
    Should I ask him out?

    I moved into a new apartment 3 weeks ago, and want to ask the security guard out. During the rainy weather I walk my dogs around the inside of the building (a few people do). And while doing so I have had a few short chats with him. he is working, so they are usually only a few minutes. We talked about one of my interests, and in a later chat he asked how it was going. dogs are always discussed as they beg for his attention. I am not sure if it’s ok to ask him out. he is the security guard where I live, it is unprofessional or inappropriate? I assume he would never ask me for that reason, but could I ask him? And I have no idea if he is just friendly or if he would be receptive to me asking him out? I have always done online dating, and have never asked a guy out in person. so I am clueless to gauge his interest.

    lovie4you
    lovie4you
    Participant
    May 21, 2017 at 9:21 pm #137109

    For one thing, you don’t know if he has a girlfriend but then again he probably would have mentioned that. You are right about one thing if he would ask you out he would get fired if someone would find out I used to be a field supervisor for a security guard service. Now, you, on the other hand, are able to ask him out if he does turn you down then nobody will get fired, so yes I would definitely ask him out but don’t wait for him because he can’t you know what you do, you can see if he’ll be friends on facebook. I hope it works out.


    Batgirl42
    Participant
    May 30, 2017 at 9:02 am #137779

    so, is he allowed to say yes if I ask him out? I am perfectly okay if he says no, rejection happens. No big deal. But assuming the feeling was mutual. Would it be against the rules for him to say yes and us date?
    I have a friend who used to work at a homeless shelter, and if a staff member even became friends with a client they were fired. Regardless.
    I don’t want to get him fired.

    . Now, you, on the other hand, are able to ask him out if he does turn you down then nobody will get fired, so yes I would definitely ask him out


    Batgirl42
    Participant
    May 30, 2017 at 9:22 am #137780

    Is he allowed to say yes? Would it be unprofessional and risk his job if he says yes and we date? I don’t want to risk his job if we start dating. I would feel horrible. I fully respect he has a job and we wouldn’t be sneaking off while he is working. but I don’t know if it would be against the rules or something even if we hung out after his shift.


    Batgirl42
    Participant
    May 30, 2017 at 9:41 am #137786

    so, is he allowed to say yes if I ask him out? I am perfectly okay if he says no, rejection happens. No big deal. But assuming the feeling was mutual. Would it be against the rules for him to say yes and us date?
    I have a friend who used to work at a homeless shelter, and if a staff member even became friends with a client they were fired. Regardless.
    I don’t want to get him fired.

    . Now, you, on the other hand, are able to ask him out if he does turn you down then nobody will get fired, so yes I would definitely ask him out


    Batgirl42
    Participant
    May 30, 2017 at 9:58 am #137787

    Is it ok for us to date? Or is he risking his job? If we both consent, and want to date. Want to pursue something more. Is it against the rules? Would he be able to come hang out in my room with me when he is not working. I fully respect when he is working he must work and can’t hang out with me. No problem. I am talking about when he is not working.
    I don’t want him getting fired, I would feel horrible. One of his coworkers wont even be friends with the tenants. Like this other coworker was invited to a bbq (that would take place during his off duty hours) just to socialize and hang out as friends. And he absolutely refused to mingle like that. Said it was unprofessional, he could lose his job. etc etc.
    But it got me thinking about this whole dating situation.


    hopefulromantic
    Participant
    May 31, 2017 at 4:32 pm #138047

    I recommend maybe talking a little more to see what his status is first and if all
    Signs are a go then ask him out.


    bretb
    Participant
    June 1, 2017 at 4:40 pm #138135

    Tough situation…ask him out, but add a disclaimer like: “I don’t know if this is appropriate since you work here…if it’s not, I’ll understand…”


    TheEastWind79
    Participant
    June 1, 2017 at 7:50 pm #138162

    That is tough, but I would go for it


    NicoleMorgan
    Participant
    June 1, 2017 at 11:02 pm #138170
    Reply To: Should I ask him out?

    I agree with the above post about adding a disclaimer. Maybe you could say, “I don’t know if this is appropriate and I don’t want to get you in trouble, but if you’re interested in getting to know each other more perhaps we could hang out sometime when you are not working ?”