Should I be concerned?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Should I be concerned?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    thunderbuddy1999
    Participant
    May 9, 2016 at 11:06 pm #100029
    Should I be concerned?

    Looking for some thoughts and advice. I started talking to this woman online nearly a month ago and it quickly turned into texting. Since that time until now, we have been on 3 dates. Each date has been better than the last. We have kissed and held hands on every date. I’m 34 and she is 31 so you can have an idea of the age bracket. We have both told our respective families about each other. We talk either on the phone or through text on multiple occasions each day. We have began calling each other pet names such as babe and baby. We have plans for a lunch date tomorrow and tentatively seeing each other a couple of nights this week. We also have plans for me to meet her sibling in a couple of weeks and her parents shortly after. Everything is great except for the fact that I see her “online now” quite often on a dating site that we met on. Particularly tonight she had been online about 3-4 different times. I know that is a little strange for me to check but should I be concerned?

    Smooth Dater
    Smooth Dater
    Participant
    May 13, 2016 at 12:52 pm #100339

    I would not be concerned if I were you. But I would also be cautious. As with all dating partners, whether you met them online or in the outside world, you should be slightly detached. In fact, the best way to love is to love with irony, that is, don’t love her too much. By all means say nice things to her, buy her nice gifts, go on holiday, but she may in her mind still be deciding about that next step, that is, the step to finally commit herself to you. A month is a very short time to trust somebody and it takes many years to build trust in someone. Remember, the power should be in your hands so if you think she is still dating someone, you don’t need to prove to her that your commitment to her is written in stone. One thing you need to check for is whether she had been on this dating site before she met you and she hasn’t deleted her profile, or she joined afterwards. Even it was before she met you, she still has the right to stay on the site just in case. Relationships take time.