Should I be concerned?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Should I be concerned?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    JacksonWest
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 6:36 pm #126836
    Should I be concerned?

    There is an odd female I have hung out with since June. She keeps initiating the one on one contact with me (staying behind at parties or asking for a ride). She has asked about my dating life. I asked her out, she said she was in the middle of getting back with an ex. A week later, she texted my coworker (the one she asked about me) and invited herself to a group event. She does this. I lose contact with her, so she reaches out to me or invites herself to things. She gets nervous when I ask her to things, but finds a way to be around me and get information about me. She literally mimics me on some things and says some very specific/creepy things. I have not invited her to anything in a month. Last week, she sent me an email about work (the first time since last May). We do not work closely with them and she is a liaison to a different department. There is no reason to go to me. Then,, she texted me about a trip I am taking in a couple of months. This weekend she blocked me on facebook


    JacksonWest
    Participant
    February 13, 2017 at 6:45 pm #126837

    She keeps initiating contact. I invite her friends to go and she says she has trust issues. If I invite her to things, she seems hesitant to go, but then goes and eats my food. Then, stays behind. My coworkers have commented on how she treats me like you would a boyfriend, except we are not dating. When I talk about a possible job, she recommends the closest place. Yet, I see the girl in public and she gets red, nervous and acts like she does not know me. The girl just goes on extreme personality changes. Makes an effort to be there when I don’t ask her to things, but then gives a weird answer when I do invite her. And the weird comments… Example. I am planning a trip to Iceland. I had shared information with a friend on facebook. Two weeks later I am alone with this female. We are talking about vacations, so I mentioned Iceland. She had looked up travel information, flights, suspiciously close to my plans. She is a cold blooded person and only goes to the tropics. Iceland? yeah…

    F1end
    F1end
    Participant
    February 14, 2017 at 4:36 am #126850

    Ditch her.

    Far too much drama for someone that you aren’t even having sex with.

    You should have lower tolerance for that kind of push/pull nonsense with a woman not offering you anything.

    Completely ignore her. Your attention is your value, and you are giving her lots of attention (that I’m sure she is enjoying) for nothing.

    If you don’t have respect for your time, why should she?

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    February 14, 2017 at 12:47 pm #126917

    run away fast… and DON’T share info with her or invite her anmore and dont engage her if you “bump into each other” (im almost at the point of guessing you bumping into each other is NOT a coincidence..)

    I would also tell your FRIENDS not to share anything with her (since she’s tried that route as well). If you can find a way or feel comfy, also tell coworkers not to share your personal info to others (but dont’ mention her specficially as the rason).

    this one is scary.. lots of troubling signs.


    JacksonWest
    Participant
    February 15, 2017 at 9:17 am #126967

    Luckily, most of my coworkers and friends think she is nuts. There is one that defends her (she is immature as well). I have restricted her access to me and will not invite her to things.

    Am I wrong to think that her reaching out to me about work was just an excuse to reach out to me?

    I think she will still try to invite herself to things.


    JacksonWest
    Participant
    February 15, 2017 at 9:17 am #126963

    I am limiting my contact with her. My friends/coworkers know she is nuts and they did not like her from the start, so they won’t hang out with. One coworker is defending her (she is immature as well). The rest all think she is weird.

    Am I wrong to think that the email she sent was not really about work? It makes no sense to go through me for this and it had been over a month since I hung out with her.

    The girl was definitely spying on me. Wanting to be around my friend, planning my stuff… etc. She was possessive of me.

    I am not inviting her to anything. I have a feeling she will try to intrude on something though.


    JacksonWest
    Participant
    February 15, 2017 at 9:18 am #126969

    Is it wrong to think her emailing me about work is an excuse to make contact?

    F1end
    F1end
    Participant
    February 15, 2017 at 10:04 am #127035

    Am I wrong to think that the email she sent was not really about work?

    Not at all. Probably sending out the feelers. Seeing if you are on the hook.

    The girl was definitely spying on me. Wanting to be around my friend, planning my stuff… etc. She was possessive of me.

    5 little words of great power: “What’s in it for me?”.

    Stop worrying about what her game is, and worry about your own instead.

    I am not inviting her to anything. I have a feeling she will try to intrude on something though.

    Completely ignore her.

    Have a zero tolerance attitude with women that are messing you around.

    She either goes out with you on a late-night date, or she gets ignored.

    Don’t let her keep screwing you around for kicks.


    Richardinlove22
    Participant
    February 15, 2017 at 3:34 pm #127110

    Run run run


    JacksonWest
    Participant
    February 15, 2017 at 6:06 pm #127145
    Reply To: Should I be concerned?

    Definitely not pursuing her. Just concerned for my well being. Some people have said she displayed stalker-ish qualities. I do not understand why she kept staying behind at events, but then said no when I asked her out. I said no problem and told her that I still enjoyed hanging out with the group we established and being friends. The next week this kicked off all of the weird stuff. Seeking out my friends. Inviting herself to things. If she is stalking me, why restrict me on facebook? Is she projecting something on me? Why does she want access to my friends, but never invite her people to go with us. I was like a secret and her actions were a secret. IE.. We play fantasy football and she had a post about getting ready for fantasy football season. I commented on it and said something about being excited for this season. The whole post got instantly deleted. Weird, because there was nothing negative. So, I never wrote anything on her wall after that. Like, she wanted me to be secret.


    OnlyTheGhosts
    Participant
    February 16, 2017 at 2:15 pm #127306
    Reply To: Should I be concerned?

    I would honestly just drop it and stay away, could turn out to something much much worse over time.


    Bernie
    Participant
    February 18, 2017 at 4:00 am #127528
    Reply To: Should I be concerned?

    She is just an attention seeker and your one on her list , the best think to do there is erase all her details in your posession and move on. Some women need to feel wanted to make themselves feel good , but have no intention of actually getting with you. I you really want to make her feel like the fool she is be seen with another woman . Otherwise just blank her out and find a decent girl .


    JacksonWest
    Participant
    February 19, 2017 at 9:53 pm #127563
    Reply To: Should I be concerned?

    yeah, I am trying to block her out. At first, I just rationalized her as being an introvert and being overly anxious. Starting to get more of a malicious vibe with it. I am a little paranoid, because I still feel like she will appear somehow. I have joked around with some female friends that one of them needs to hang out with me when she is around so she may just go away.


    cbFlashes
    Participant
    February 20, 2017 at 1:04 pm #127585
    Reply To: Should I be concerned?

    I would be very concerned! Sounds like she is interested in casual sex on the down low because she is in a relationship. The ex may have caught on and she blocked you to hide any evidence… or maybe he got on her account and blocked you himself.