Should I continue seeing this guy?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Should I continue seeing this guy?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    sweetzzz
    Participant
    September 27, 2015 at 12:32 am #85997
    Should I continue seeing this guy?

    I met this guy who is 12 years older than me in April at a party in NYC, and we slept the first night we met. After that night, we started seeing each other once a week; and after a month, we started meeting 2-3 times per week. We separated in July as I went back home for about 2 months and he went on a vacation for a month. While we were separated, we texted occasionally, like once per week. I came back early this month, and we travelled together for a weekend. I was okay being casual with him before I went back home; however, when I came back, I started developing strong feelings towards him especially after our trip. But still, neither of us has ever brought up the talk, and I can’t tell exactly what his thoughts might be. On the bright side, I feel like he has been taking care of me a lot when we’re together, and always trying to arrange the next meet-ups or so. On the negative side, I think he hides too much from me. He never tells me anything beforehand. For instance, when he has


    sweetzzz
    Participant
    September 27, 2015 at 12:33 am #85998

    a trip coming, I would only be informed one day prior his trip. In addition, he never accepted my FB friend request which I sent him twice when we began getting intimate and seeing each other 2-3 times per week (he uses FB frequently). He also doesn’t want me to know whenever he hangs out with his girl friends. He either lies saying they are guys, or just never mentions. For example, he told me he went on vacation with a few friends, but just told me one of them was his good guy friend from college, and said the other were just his other guy friends from different places when I asked about the rest. But when I looked through his photos in his camera on our trip, I got to know that there were actually two other girls. I can totally sense that he’s not very serious, but I don’t know if there’s any chance things can turn out to something good in the future. I know the best way to get the answer is to ask straightforward, but I am a very passive person in dating/relationship. I only had on


    Brea
    Participant
    September 27, 2015 at 1:17 pm #86008

    If he isn’t serious, and you’re getting that way, might be best to end it before things get worse. He’s already lying to you, and I get the impression he might be using you for a casual fling.


    30thgagt
    Participant
    September 27, 2015 at 5:58 pm #86013

    There could actually be a few explanations to this, but in the long run, the most logical one is that this is just a casual thing to him…. a convenience. The only thing to do is either bring the subject up, or walk away


    sweetzzz
    Participant
    September 28, 2015 at 8:15 am #85999

    I only had one boyfriend for 3 years, and a few other datings that all lasted less than 3 months with people from my age group; and in all my previous datings, it’s always the guys who brought up the “what do you think of our relationship” talk. So I’m thinking maybe I can get some advice from here before I get to talk with him? Any thoughts/advices would be appreciative.

    Confounded478
    Confounded478
    Participant
    September 28, 2015 at 3:55 pm #86063

    Are you sure he’s not married? It sounds like he’s using you. Sorry.