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amandaroseParticipantJanuary 14, 2018 at 3:08 pm #162415
I friended a guy on FB that is friends with my brother. We grew up in the same town but now he travels for work and lives in MI. He posted on FB asking if anyone had a room to rent out, I replied that I did. We started talking and now I think the renting a room is off the table and we are into each other. He came back to town yesterday and we had plans to hang out but he had to go back to MI for work. He asked if I want to come to MI this weekend since I am off Monday. I’m considering it but don’t know the right choice. I would drive 4 hours each way to hang out with him for the day. He really wants me to come and if I don’t he is coming back in 2 weeks to see me. I met him before but its been at least 15 years since I’ve seen him. I don’t really know him but my brother does so i know he is a good guy. We only text, don’t even talk on the phone. I’m 31 and he is 34. Both don’t have kids. We are trying to be friends and are both open to more. Would you go?
JeynaParticipantJanuary 15, 2018 at 12:08 am #162431
“He came back to town yesterday and we had plans to hang out but he had to go back to MI for work.”
“He asked if I want to come to MI this weekend since I am off Monday”
Look at the investment he’s asking of you, compared to his investment.
He was in town, but did not find time to see you, but he expects you to go and meet him so far?
You have to have some standards. A man will not love you more for giving in all the time.
he will take the easier path to what he wants.
Are you happy to be struck at texting stage?
Imho, texting should be to arrange dates, or for casually igniting the flame, nothing more.
In this instance, what I would recommend, would be for you to show your standard. Unless you are happy of the situation, of course.
Now, how do you show your standard? First, what are they. Do you want him to call you? To make the effort to see you?
Call him up in a nice way. “i miss your lovely voice” “feels like we are penpal” – but do not ask him to call you.
JeynaParticipantJanuary 15, 2018 at 12:12 am #162432
As for the trip itself – do you not have things you’d want to do at your place, in a long week-end?
Is he going to be off? Or are you going to be left on your own all day long?
If he is off, why can’t he meet you?
if you only text, how do you know you are going to click enough to spend a whole week-end with someone?
At the very least, propose a destination halfway.
amandaroseParticipantJanuary 16, 2018 at 8:59 am #162437
Thank you for your comments! He literally got back to the town I grew up in and visited his family for an hour and left. I live an hour away and tried to make it in time but he had to head back. I ended up not going to MI because I told him we need to get to know each other better, He said he will put in the effort and come down to see me on his next day off and that he doesn’t want me to drive so far. I also told him we need to talk on the phone because its hard to get to now someone over text. It was a last minute plan for me to drive to MI because we were pumped about hanging out finally. But i will be patient and try to build something with him. Thanks!
kaitlynlily6ParticipantJanuary 21, 2018 at 12:25 pm #162936
Good point Jeyna, I agree with everything you said. An interested man would take time to see you, even get excited to see you again and definitely a call is necessary to keep the flame alive since you two are at a long distance relationship.
richiroParticipantJanuary 23, 2018 at 3:43 pm #163212
since you “don’t know him” i’d make the first meeting in 2 weeks when he comes back to your town on a date. see what you think. (your brother may “know him” but he’s never dated him so he doesn’t know what he’s like on dates!) 🙂
does he live with his children in MI or does he live alone and visit his children?
woudl defnitely meet him first a few times on YOUR turf and get a feel for him as a “partner” first before taking long trips and spending time away and alone with him.
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