should I forget this girl?

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should I forget this girl?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    andres0101
    Participant
    April 4, 2015 at 9:08 pm #76693
    should I forget this girl?

    I met a girl on an app (not a dating app) because we found out that we live just a mile away. I added her on facebook and started texting. I asked her out 2 times but she said she could not, but she was nice and even suggested to go out other day. I figured that she probably wasn’t interested in me so I backed up a little. I was almost always starting convos since the beggining but she seemed to enjoy them as much as me. I stopped texting her for a while and out of the blue she texted me with a bad excuse. I decided to go for my third attempt on asking her out and she finally agreed. The “date” went well, but I didn’t kiss her and she seemed to be a little distracted with her phone. I texted a few times after but then I found out that she was dating other guy. I figured I was only a friend to her so again I stopped texting her. She isn’t with the guy anymore but i don’t want to be a backup guy. I ran into her two weeks ago and we had a nice convo. I really like her but i’m confused.

    April 5, 2015 at 3:10 pm #76705

    I think a second date could not hurt. You can feel it out then. If she accepts and still seems distracted then maybe she is caught up with her ex and in that case you can do much better. You certainly do not want to be a backup. But since you like her so much you should go for a second date, you have nothing to lose.


    infamissg
    Participant
    April 5, 2015 at 9:51 pm #76710

    I don’t think she’s really that interested. If she’s on her phone while on a date.. it can either be because she’s not interested or she’s nervous. But here it seems like she needed a friend and someone to talk to..

    hamgey
    hamgey
    Participant
    April 6, 2015 at 6:09 am #76720

    i think she still love her ex. you are just a backup. but if you truely love her , this is the time to win her heart

    bryan86
    bryan86
    Participant
    April 6, 2015 at 7:12 pm #76760

    She wouldn’t have gone on the first date if she wasn’t interested in you. I would ask her out on a second date and see where it goes.


    Anonymous
    April 7, 2015 at 5:36 am #76766

    yes,

    Dontbeniceanymore
    Dontbeniceanymore
    Participant
    April 7, 2015 at 9:59 pm #76828

    You can try a second date,

    Your question should be: Why she was on her phone while she was in a dating with you?

    If you kept silence for a long time, then she tried to compensate the silence with someone else on the phone, however if you were doing all the talking and she was nodding only or answering you with monosyllables, then she wasn’t interested in you in the first place.

    Next time you go out in a date, if the girl start to text someone else don’t accept that second class behavior from her. Step up and walk away, and if she ask you why are you leaving just tell her in a calm tone of voice without losing your temper, and without making a scene or tantrum tell her:

    “It’s very clear that whoever is on the phone has your full attention, and I’m looking for someone who gives me her full attention, you are not what I’m looking for”

    Walk away, if she is interested in you she will follow you, and if she doesn’t follow you then you did yourself a favor


    andres0101
    Participant
    April 8, 2015 at 12:21 am #76830

    Thanks for the answers… I’ll try with a second date but i wont have my hopes up so i wont be dissapointed. I didn’t mean that she was the whole first date texting other people on her phone. She was paying attention to me and she was also helping the conversation but she was checking her phone a just a little bit from expected. Maybe she was nervous or maybe she is addicted to texting (like many teens now. She is 17, I’m 19). It could also be that she wasn’t interested but i got nothing to lose by asking her out again. Maybe going for a kiss will give me a straight answer lol


    andres0101
    Participant
    April 8, 2015 at 8:44 am #76831

    A little bit more than expected*


    Anonymous
    April 9, 2015 at 12:56 pm #76969
    Reply To: should I forget this girl?

    yes

    Dom_KSL
    Dom_KSL
    Participant
    April 10, 2015 at 8:28 pm #77068
    Reply To: should I forget this girl?

    Anybody that isn’t willing to make you as much a priority as you are making them is not worth your time.


    sindu5673
    Participant
    April 10, 2015 at 10:18 pm #77076
    Reply To: should I forget this girl?

    The question you should ask yourself is what do you really want and expect from this girl you are pursuing? From what you say I feel that you have some expectation for a possible serious relationship, when the reality of your situation doesn’t seem to be going into that direction. I know hope blinds us sometimes but it is important to be honest with yourself about your true expectation. Remember that many girls just like flirting, for the pleasure of feeling desirable even if they make you believe otherwise. If you see she seems unable/unwilling to give you what you want out of a relationship, better move on.


    Niko92
    Participant
    April 11, 2015 at 10:38 pm #77091
    Reply To: should I forget this girl?

    In my experience, when someone likes or cares about you, they WILL find time for you. And since she didn’t, I do not think it is worth your time to try to pursue her.

    runawayitsarm
    runawayitsarm
    Participant
    April 12, 2015 at 7:09 pm #77108
    Reply To: should I forget this girl?

    Keep your friendship with her and continue to develop things and see if she’ll go on a second date with you.