Should i give it more time or is it time to let go???

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Should i give it more time or is it time to let go???

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2017 at 12:58 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    T_na
    Participant
    June 9, 2016 at 4:39 pm #102619
    Should i give it more time or is it time to let go???

    My bf has the habit of disappearing on me. He has done it three times in two months. 1st time for 3 days each and this time he’s been gone for two weeks. He’s got serious family and personal issues. Not sure if I should stay of leave, I feel he’s taking me for granted.
    He did have v rough times growing up which he had to deal with himself, I also feel its a coping mechanism he’s developed, but we’re going to get married I feel he will treat our marriage and kids the same way. I’ve told him how I feel once he made me wait for 7 hours to say he won’t be coming. Ughhh hurts my ego not sure what to make of it. Help!!!!!!!!


    lilyvalley
    Participant
    June 9, 2016 at 7:15 pm #103096

    Just be honest and upfront and explain to him that in a relationship you have certain expectations of your significant other and when those expectations are not met, you don’t feel comfortable and him not keeping in touch being one of them. Some people/guy withdraw from the world when they don’t feel good and if he’s like that teach him to open up to you and that you’ll be there to listen and just be there for him after all you ARE his girlfriend. Good luck! 🙂 and thanks for answer my q’s


    SATOnlineNewbie
    Participant
    June 10, 2016 at 3:07 pm #103171

    I agree with lilvalley. Even if he really does like you- he may need some time to deal with his own personal issues right now. You need to be healthy and in a good place with yourself if you are going to be able to be a good partner to someone else. It sounds like he needs to get some things straight on his end. Don’t end up being his crutch or his therapist. Tell him how you feel. If he respects your feelings and you- he won’t do it again. If he does it is time to let him go.


    Sailor1958
    Participant
    June 11, 2016 at 11:05 pm #103222

    I became the crutch, and lost my heart. Take their advice.


    ThereisOnlyLove
    Participant
    June 12, 2016 at 12:22 pm #103232

    I hate to say it, but a relationship is a two way street. As much as you love him, there is a part of this that should be addressed. To be honest, if you are his full support system, let him do WHATEVER he wants and leave.. you are showing him that you are giving with no expectation of receiving. While everyone has ups and downs in their lives, if the downs outnumber the ups and you are the crutch… you are giving a LOT and getting little

    sophia
    sophia
    Participant
    June 13, 2016 at 7:13 am #103233

    You feel bad for him & he’s counting on that every time he comes back. we all have problems, how we handle our past & personal issues is what makes us who we are as adults. Is this the type of man (a runner) you want as a father to your children? is this the man you want by your side when ur hit with hard times, u know he’ll run again. Life is full of curve balls and winding roads, you want your copilot to stand the storm with u not leaving you hanging. Im sorry but everyone has an excuse for why they do the things they do its still not ok. He’s only looking out for himself when he runs, he’s think me me me, I’m sad so i run I’m not thinking of how she feels because i have problems me me me. well honey just like him you need to think about YOU. don’t be the crutch. I was a counsellor and I always told my clients..the only way to stop a negative behavior from reoccurring is if the offender faces negative consequence as a direct result of that behavior. DONT MARRY HIM he’ll run out on u!