Should I Give Up?! =(

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Should I Give Up?! =(

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    December 20, 2015 at 1:22 am #90326
    Should I Give Up?! =(

    I have been with this guy for about 2.5 years and a little more. We have such an amazing time when we are together, he is my first and only kiss and the ONLY guy who was able to break my fear about relationships amazingly, he has something special.

    The first year he was the best caring and loving boyfriend, and I was also very caring and loving most of the time, we almost never fought but when we did, boy they where big fights!!! Mostly me who was doing wrong in them. I tried take control over his life and took advantaged of how good he was to me to the point that he broke up with me and only that took me to realize everything I was doing wrong. He eventually (after 2 weeks) came back to me because he really loves me and everything went well, because as the quote says “You don’t realize what you have until it’s gone”, I really loved this amazing guy and never wanted to do anything that hurts him again or mistreat him.

    But it still was never the same…

    to be continued down …

    December 20, 2015 at 1:29 am #90327

    He has this constant BIG fear (paranoia kind) of being so good to me again that I will become the same bad person I was before!!!
    It has been almost 11 months since I haven’t do anything bad to hurt him, not even raised my voice to him ever!!! There haven’t been a single behavior of the “old bad me” during the present!! Not even a little one I swear.

    I just don’t get it.. every time he is loving and sweet it last for about 3 weeks until he explodes and brings back everything about the past and this constant cycle never stops. He cries and says he loves me to death and wants to spend the rest of his life with me but says he won’t ever make me as happy again because of his fear that I will be like I was in the past and leaves me. Then after 1-2 days comes back again and this cycle starts all over again.

    He used to put me in a pedestal now it’s the contrary.

    He says he loves me but he is VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY stubborn.


    ariankhiyam
    Participant
    December 20, 2015 at 1:53 am #90333

    sorry about this 🙁


    bgreek
    Participant
    December 20, 2015 at 7:23 pm #90345

    I say move on
    There are plenty of men out there

    December 21, 2015 at 8:58 am #90328

    I tell him that how can he says he loves me if he doesn’t want to make me happy. He doesn’t surprises me like before or do sweet things to me. He isn’t the same guy that made me fall in love with him and break that barrier of me of not wanting to get into a relationship.
    I don’t want to give up on him as he doesn’t want to give up on me either. We just want to work it out but we just don’t know how. He says it is impossible of him to forget what I have done.
    Taking a break is not an option for us (as he leaves and come back every 3 weeks).

    Sometimes I feel that I have to do all the work in the relationship as I seem to be more MUCH more mature that him.
    Despite his flaws I love him to death because I know that sweet caring loyal and faithful who I fell in love is there somewhere.
    I also don’t get how if you love someone you can leave them, I don’t ever see myself doing that unless I no longer loved this person.

    December 21, 2015 at 9:01 am #90332

    help

    December 21, 2015 at 2:45 pm #90387

    Yea this is very sad 🙁 we are both first loves of eachother.


    RobertB
    Participant
    December 21, 2015 at 5:21 pm #90390

    Unfortunately the damage is done, and it is actually very strong of you to be able to admit that you were at fault. The best option, IMO, is that you admit it to him. Tell him you know it was your fault and that you will try to change for him. Promise him that if you ever act like your old self that he will have every right to leave. This situation certainly puts you at a disadvantage, but unfortunately that’s how it is.

    Neither of you are currently as happy as you can be, so if there’s a possibility to make yourselves as happier, the opportunity must be taken.