Should I move on?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Should I move on?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    osutwink92
    Participant
    March 21, 2016 at 4:27 pm #96163
    Should I move on?

    Me and my coworker are really good friends and we went out one night and he told me that he liked me. We ended up kissing and then hung out a week later, cuddled, watched a movie, had a few drinks (no sex). We both had a really good time. I’m out and he’s not out. I’m 23 and he’s 19. Both go to the same school as well. One day I brought up a serious topic of possibly dating. He doesn’t think he can date me because he’s not out of the closet. He’s very scared to even tell his parents so he would rather just not come out. Even though he likes me, he thinks I should move on. My issue is, I started liking him more than just a really good friend and now I seem caught up with feelings and always thinking about our situation. I’m wondering if I should move on or remain friends with him and hangout in hopes that it’ll go somewhere. Some of my other coworkers told me I’m taking it too fast. What to do???


    odreammaker
    Participant
    March 22, 2016 at 11:52 am #96191

    I would stay friends and hangout with him. You don’t know if he will want to come out one day and if you end things now that chance may never happen. You might be taking it too fast. Its better to take things slow for now instead of abruptly ending a relationship that has a chance to blossom in the future.


    osutwink92
    Participant
    March 22, 2016 at 1:09 pm #96197

    I’ve heard by a few people that I really need to slow down and just keep hanging out as well. Thank you for your advice!


    hippieswag1
    Participant
    March 22, 2016 at 8:12 pm #96235

    move on


    osutwink92
    Participant
    March 23, 2016 at 9:06 am #96240

    Why you think? Thanks for the advice btw.


    coldturkey
    Participant
    March 23, 2016 at 1:04 pm #96284

    You should move on and still be his friend.Reason being is that he’s not out yet…you are…you’re not afraid to be who you are..he is…that is not a way to start off any relationship.One needs to be confident in whom they are…he’s isn’t..you are.You deserve to be with someone who isn’t ashamed or afraid to be out with you in public..it’s that simple. You don’t know when that will happen for him so why wait around for if or when it does? Like I said..you can still be his friend…from a distance since you still have feelings for him but that’s all….

    jl19606
    jl19606
    Participant
    March 24, 2016 at 12:03 am #96332

    I wouldn’t keep wasting my time. Even with staying friends those feelings are going linger, and every little thing is going to seem like an indication of more than just friends, even when it’s not. It’s not worth all the mental gymnastics. Closeted or not, if he wanted to date you, you’d be dating. You’re going to end up hurting yourself looking for every scrap evidence that there could be something more that its going to undercut any actual meaningful friendship that could exist.


    tim1982q
    Participant
    April 12, 2016 at 4:10 am #97507

    This is a tricky one. Coming out of the closet is a different experience for everyone. Remain friends for the moment until he’s comfortable in his own skin to reveal he is gay to all those closes to him.


    ChicagoGay5150
    Participant
    April 22, 2016 at 8:19 pm #98567

    Move on. Not worth it and will only exhaust you. Trust me– plenty of others to find a meaningful relationship with.