Should I stay ?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Should I stay ?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    UserF
    Participant
    April 7, 2018 at 10:30 am #169873
    Should I stay ?

    I met this guy a year ago, he seems like a good guy so I accepted to date him. One month after that, he kept talking about a pornstar that he finds really hot and keeps pictures of her in his phone. He talked again about her every month and recently I noticed that it hurt me a lot and that I was probably jealous. I felt like crying. But instead, this thought popped up in my brain “you only care that he finds her hot bc he is your boyfriend, if he is not your boyfriend anymore then you won’t have any reason to be jealous anymore”. So I broke up with him. And I felt relieved. Until he cried. He asked me to change my mind about it bc he loves me. But the jealousy hurt me more than to see him hurt. Idk if I want to go through that again just for him to feel better. I wish he could find a hotter girl or one that looks like her. While I move on with my life.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 7, 2018 at 2:41 pm #169878

    Sounds like you have already made up your mind.

    As for being jealous of a mate’s “celebrity crush” whether it’s a porn star, singer, or actress makes very little sense.
    It’s not as if he’s going to be hooking up with her! Some couples though have given each other a “free pass” if the opportunity presented itself.
    Odds are you also have a “celebrity crush” of your own.

    What may be bothering you is (his crush) is a “porn star” and not a regular actress or entertainer.
    Every attractive woman has men who secretly fantasize about her (Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Gigi Hadid…etc)
    The biggest difference is your ex-boyfriend has been (honest and very candid with you) about his crush.
    Since he’s not likely to ever meet her you really have nothing to worry about. Stop competing with a fantasy!


    UserF
    Participant
    April 10, 2018 at 8:40 am #169879

    I don’t have a celebrity crush. I am still able to appreciate other men’s (celebrity or not) beauty though.
    But I don’t keep pictures of them.

    I guess “he is not likely to ever meet her” doesn’t make me feel any better bc I just understand here that if tomorrow he had to choose between her and me, he would choose her just for her looks and make me feel worthless.
    So I have a “I’d rather be alone than in bad company” mentality and not put myself in this situation.
    I am just being honest about my psychology right now.