Should I stay or should I go?

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Should I stay or should I go?

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    Xeelvie
    Xeelvie
    Participant
    July 13, 2015 at 12:51 am #82677
    Should I stay or should I go?

    Hi everyone,

    I recently met a guy online. He seems quite honest, straightforward, smart, kind and polite. He travelled to meet me in person and well, it was fun. It was not difficult for us to continue with our always interesting conversation. After he returned to his home, we continued chatting via whatsapp application.

    He is a divorced man who has a daughter. He got divorced several years ago and he seems to constantly blame his ex. He said his ex wife had some mental problems. He does not have a good rapport with the mother of his daughter, who according to what he says, yells at him.

    He says he wants a serious relationship and he does compliment me a lot sometimes. He’s very romantic and we communicate everyday via text messages. However, when he’s with his daughter he says he’s very busy and won’t even dare to make a phone call. He just sends me text messages. He says he wants to come and see me again but now I am wondering… he can come but can’t call? why?


    Devona176
    Participant
    July 15, 2015 at 7:17 am #82805

    My personal opinion is that something is wrong. He is hiding something from you and I would move on. The first warning was his complaining about his ex. If he has been divorced that long then why is he still fussing about her. She is either still in his life or he still has feeling for her. Also depending on the age of his daughter she is not around at all times or is sleeping and gives him plenty of time to make a phone call. Either way if this guy was really into you then you wouldn’t be confused like you are right now.
    If you want to test him then ask for the next date to meet him at his place. Since he drove to you the first time it would only be fair for you to drive to him the second wouldn’t it? If he says no then try to convince him but don’t pressure. If he still says no then you will know he is hiding something and you should not waste any more of your time.


    heroadeprpicklez
    Participant
    July 15, 2015 at 12:22 pm #82845

    Alarm bells ringing. A guy who was serious about you wouldn’t complain about his ex to you

    Xeelvie
    Xeelvie
    Participant
    August 10, 2015 at 8:20 am #83723

    Thanks for your advice! I’m really tired of his texting and not making time for me out of that. I guess it’s time for me to say NEXT!

    Xeelvie
    Xeelvie
    Participant
    August 10, 2015 at 8:20 am #83724

    Hi heroadeprpicklez,

    Why do you say that? is there any reason why he shouldn’t complain about his ex? He does text me everyday and from his point of view that should be more than enough to me. But the thing is that I’m getting real bored of such stupid game.

    Xeelvie
    Xeelvie
    Participant
    August 10, 2015 at 8:21 am #83725

    His daughter is 9 years old. We girls can be pretty intuitive, and yes, most of the time I’ve had this feeling like he’s hiding something.

    oviman
    oviman
    Participant
    August 13, 2015 at 5:35 pm #84043

    No


    justwondering0
    Participant
    August 14, 2015 at 5:55 am #84059

    A lot of men I know rather text then call. As long as he is responding and making plans then what is a problem? if You don’t want to text that much call him. If he is with his daughter and rather text then call during that time. Respect that.


    Anonymous
    August 17, 2015 at 9:09 pm #84267

    Yea not sure why everyone is giving his guy such a hard time about the texting. Although I personally prefer calls it is not that weird in this day and age to communicate by text 95% of the time… Also, having lengthy phone calls is not an activity enjoyed by all, maybe you should bring this up with him.

    gani02
    gani02
    Participant
    August 19, 2015 at 2:38 am #84366
    Reply To: Should I stay or should I go?

    hey u can move but i think that person want to spend some little time with his daughter thats why he couldnt make a call to you when he his with his daughter.once again you meet him and talk to eachother ask your doubts and clear.


    dashiness
    Participant
    August 19, 2015 at 3:33 am #84368
    Reply To: Should I stay or should I go?

    I don’t think the texting is that big of a deal, a lot of people rather text than call.

    Xeelvie
    Xeelvie
    Participant
    August 25, 2015 at 9:54 pm #84773
    Reply To: Should I stay or should I go?

    Well, I honestly have no problem with texting, but I can’t believe he couldn’t call me to say happy birthday at least… what he did was text.
    What do you guys say about it now?

    Do you think it’s possible to build a relationship by texting only?


    singlemom1
    Participant
    August 26, 2015 at 2:20 pm #84840
    Reply To: Should I stay or should I go?

    Ok, personally I think you should trust your gut on staying vs going. Idk how long you have been talking, but I’m under the impression you have only met up a couple times? If that’s the case then there is probably a lot about him you don’t know. It doesn’t ring alarms for me. As for him complaining about the ex-it’s a little weird but if she is still giving him problems then the problems are not resolved. Some parents will use the kids as a weapon to hurt the other parent-it sucks, but that’s life. And idk how often he gets his daughter but his daughter should be more important than you to him. He is setting boundaries-hey, you are new in my life, my daughter is a permanent fixture and important to me. Also a lot of single parents don’t involve the kids in relationships until it’s serious-they don’t want their kids getting attached to people who aren’t sticking around.

    Yeah, there could be things “wrong,” but i don’t see any flags personally…

    Xeelvie
    Xeelvie
    Participant
    August 26, 2015 at 9:02 pm #84845
    Reply To: Should I stay or should I go?

    Hi there,

    One of the things that I don’t like that much is that he complains and blames it all on his ex. According to him, she’s kind of crazy… bipolar. Many times she’d talk a lot about her and even forward me some of her e-mails where she actually tells him she regrets having a daughter with him and having met him, etc. She also said she wants him to get married, have kids and leave both her and their daughter alone.

    Why would he want me to read such personal emails between he and his ex?

    I understand everything regarding his daughter and I know he can be a good father. However, I see no reason for him not to be able to call me for 5 minutes when it is my birthday. He said he’d call me but he never did. He just sent a couple of “text messages” and that was it…I really don’t know what to think…