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savior15ParticipantAugust 27, 2014 at 8:50 pm #60273
Ok so I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year now And he’s my first real love!! I don’t say “I love you” unless I really mean it! We both love each other! We currently live together and we’ve met each other’s family!!! And they like us both! Recently he mentioned joining the military and that bootcamp is a month long and he doesn’t want to hurt me so he wants to give each other a hall pass for a month and when he gets back we won’t ask questions about what we did in that month! And that we would get back together! He also mentioned on a different occasion that he wants to one day marry me! He just doesn’t trust himself well enough! I don’t agree with that idea at all! Help! Should I leave or stay?
Finlay1211ParticipantAugust 29, 2014 at 5:20 am #60345
It sounds like he wants to take a break. He might have other interests
SweetlifevtParticipantSeptember 2, 2014 at 1:24 pm #60527
First of all, if you expect to continue this relationship into the long term, don’t open your relationship up to sleeping with others unless you two have a solid, trusting relationship to begin with.
One month isn’t really all that long to be away from a boyfriend. Not so long that you’d really need to find another guy to tide you over sexually. It sounds more like he wants a free pass to possibly sleep with other people while he’s away, but he wants it to seem fair by offering you the same deal. If you don’t want to sleep with other people, and you don’t want him sleeping with other people, you need to tell him that.
You need to decide what would feel best for you: ending this relationship before he leaves, or staying committed to each other while he’s away.
serendipityParticipantSeptember 2, 2014 at 2:46 pm #60532
I wouldn’t give a “hall pass” in a relationship, because what would stop him from asking for the same thing months down the line? I feel like that just opens the door to future issues.
I personally would feel that my boyfriend doesn’t care much if he basically encourages me to sleep with someone else so that he could possibly do the same. I think you should stand firm and tell him how you feel and his reaction to that will tell you all you need to know about having a future with him.
justabeginnerParticipantSeptember 7, 2014 at 1:03 pm #60855
Do what your mind say to you.After some years you shouldn’t think you took the wrong path.
phonicaubadeParticipantSeptember 15, 2014 at 10:04 am #61983
Seems he wants his cake and eat it too. I would tell him that school is over, he’s a grown man and if he wants to openly cheat on you, then that says red flag right there. A relationship isn’t just about the good, it’s work, commitment and these days your bf has many ways of communication as opposed to when my parents were dating and my father was in the military. All they had was snail mail while he was deployed for 6 months plus and a phone call once a month. These days the internet has made it very easy for loved ones to communicate through the internet. If he’s worried about one month, I’d be worried about a life time if I were you. Life goes on and it’s too short to sell yourself short.
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