Should I stay quiet about being a virgin?


Should I stay quiet about being a virgin?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    January 9, 2015 at 6:19 pm #70247
    Should I stay quiet about being a virgin?

    So I’m a 35 year old man and I’m still a virgin. Long story short it’s because of religious guilt and self-esteem/confidence issues. I’ve been trying to change my life and have gotten over much of it by now so I’m much more confident and don’t care about religious restrictions anymore. Nevertheless I am a bit insecure about my virginity and afraid that it may be a deal-breaker for a woman.

    So my basic question is should I stay quiet about it? Obviously I won’t talk about it on the first date or put it on my dating profile. That would be too much. But let’s say we’ve been on a couple of dates and sex is in the air, so to speak, should I mention the fact that I’m a virgin? Or should I just go with the flow and not say anything? Do I say something after?

    Basically when should I tell her, if at all?

    January 9, 2015 at 6:21 pm #70249

    I accidentally posted this in the wrong subforum. I’m not gay.

    January 10, 2015 at 1:28 am #70254

    You should never be ashamed of who you are. If the person genuinely cares about you then it shouldn’t matter. If they do, then that person wasn’t worth your time in the first place anyways. Best of luck 😀

    January 10, 2015 at 10:11 am #70267

    You should be open and honest about that.

    January 12, 2015 at 3:09 pm #70338

    Honesty is the best option

    January 12, 2015 at 7:25 pm #70371

    I can only speak for myself but personally I would appreciate it if a man trusted me enough to be upfront about something like this, and I think any good woman would feel the same. It can also actually be a positive thing because at least she won’t feel insecure about your past relationships. If being a virgin is a deal breaker, she really isn’t worth your time, so if I were you I’d be transparent about it if you feel comfortable enough to do so. Moreover, without wanting to reinforce your securities, chances are she may well work out you are inexperienced anyway when it comes to your first time. Chances are, this a bigger deal to you than it will be to her.

    January 19, 2015 at 6:00 pm #71266

    Dear 35-YO-Virgin,

    I thought people like “us” were extinct. I wouldn’t recommend publishing your “V-status” on your dating profile. Like you, I’ll be 34 next month and I’m a gay virgin. I kept my “V-card” is mainly because I like the idea of saving myself for my future husband OR when I get into a relationship and my partner makes me feel safe with him. I also identify myself as a “demisexual” and “sapiosexual” and the emotionless or meaningless sex is far from my mind! Having said that and although we both “cheer for different teams,” I irrevocably understands your dilemma. I think you *should* tell your partner of your “V-status” when the time is right. Use the behavior to determine whether you and your partner has a future together. Several people mentioned above that if she takes your “V-status” negatively, she isn’t for you! There are many women in your straight dating pool. Go out and find her, where she’ll accept YOU for being you.


    January 30, 2015 at 1:45 pm #72243

    I think you should tell. If she is into you, she wouldn’t care.

    February 1, 2015 at 3:41 pm #72328

    yes keep this to yourself