May 2, 2017 at 2:59 pm #135188
I met him online in October. we were going to a meet up and fuck. nothing else.
it was a hot and wild night. and we agreed to meet up again. and again. and again.
he filled me with lust and desire and brought out this wild sexual animal in me that had previously been dormant.
I knew I started developing feelings for him and started becoming more affectionate. he made it clear that he was not looking to initiate a relationship at the time, so I pulled back. I didn’t want to get hurt. and I didn’t want to push him into something he didn’t want.
for about a month we didn’t talk. I started casually seeing other people… a little before Christmas, he reached out to me. he had apparently been arrested and lost his job. we started playing around again and hanging out a little more frequently. daily. he started relying on me for things. and I enjoyed being wanted. he confessed that I was pretty much the only thing in his world, and that he loved me. I told him that I loved him.May 2, 2017 at 2:59 pm #135189
drugs and sex were always a part of our escapades. but as his world descended into chaos, his drug use became heavier. I enjoy sex, drugs, drugs and sex, but also try to keep a balance between my work and my fun. after 2 months. our relationship became tense. his drug use started making him erratic. paranoid. we would fight. and make up. fight and have sex. fight and just sit in silence for hours angry at each other.
things came to a head on april 10 – he had started being a middle man for his dealers. not making any money. but running drugs and other supplies. I started getting tired of the routine. I worried for his safety. I told him he could no longer use my car for his exploits. He freaked out and we fought. and then we broke up. I’m not going to say I was innocent – I enabled his behavior – I would get into dramatic fits of crying and shouting – or just go into moods of being grumpy and not talking to him. But I honestly cared about him. And wanted him to be happy. To be safe.May 3, 2017 at 8:39 am #135190
after 3 weeks. I called him and left him a voice message. told him that I wasn’t angry. I just needed to know that he was safe. I didnt want to get back together. or start the old routine again. he met up talked for hours. had sex. reapeat for 3 days. and now. I’m wondering. if its worth it to … start again..May 3, 2017 at 8:39 am #135191
I called him on Saturday. wanted to let him know that I wasnt angry. and hoped that he was safe. we met up and talked for hours. had sex. and did that for 3 days. am I making a mistake? should I try and stop this before it grows again?
Kurtyboy89ParticipantMay 16, 2017 at 5:57 pm #136694
I am no expert but this does not seem healthy. From the sound of it, you seem to be stuck in a cycle of passion and heartbreak, possibly even verbal abuse. I think you should know your worth and move on from this guy. A relationship should be a balance between two people and this seems like a 60/40 situation. Take some time to reflect what you want from a healthy, happy and meaningful relationship and decide if this is it. Just some food for thought.
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