shy or just not into me?


shy or just not into me?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    January 5, 2014 at 9:28 pm #45838
    shy or just not into me?

    Need some advice please.

    I met a guy just before Xmas. It was through mutual friends, second time meeting him, but I hadn’t been interested first time. We hung out the whole night, he was kind of awkward and shy about getting my number, but eventually did and even (albeit awkwardly) went for a kiss – this was after we had had a fair few drinks. So he texted the next day to meet and we met and had food and drinks.

    We then met during the week again. He had already told me he was shy. He also said he liked to get to know girls first etc… Anyway, I had had a few drinks and was confused, I couldn’t tell if he liked me and it was getting frustrating. So I basically asked him was he interested, he said yes or else he wouldn’t be there. I told him how did he expect a girl to know a guy was interested if he didn’t touch her/hold her hand/kiss her. He agreed and I guess it was a bit awkward for a while. But, he wanted to stay for more drinks.

    January 5, 2014 at 9:31 pm #45839

    He then put his hand lightly on my leg. I was chatting and was getting excited about a topic, really into the conversation, when suddenly, mid-conversation he kissed me, literally lunged mid-word!! We stayed until 1am, then it was a but awkward leaving…he was like ‘ Life goes on after Xmas, and he’d see me then.’ He texted to make sure I got home OK.
    The next day I was embarrassed that I had been so forward as I am not normally like that. So I texted that evening to apologise for any awkwardness. He replied, saying it was probably his fault and that he had enjoyed the night. We texted a little and said we’d meet after he came back from his folks for Xmas.
    I didn’t expect to hear from him over Xmas, but was a bit upset when a week later still nothing. So I texted. he replied and we texted a bit, eventually, I was like just do it and asked would he still like to meet again, he said yes and we’d arrange something when he was back in the new year. That was a week ago and no news since.

    January 16, 2014 at 1:50 pm #46053

    Just go for it and ask him if he’s still up to make some plans. If he follows through, he’s interested. If not, he’ll likely make up an excuse or give you some reason that he won’t be able to make plans.

    January 24, 2014 at 7:22 pm #46536

    I say meet up with him and see how it goes. He may just be a bit awkard and unable to express how he is feeling right now. But I think there is a high possibility he’s into you.
    April 7, 2014 at 6:42 pm #46146

    If you are interested, I would try one more time. Maybe ask him if he’d like to get together for dinner/movie/etc and if he delays it again, then I would probably move on. Maybe he has some kind of hang up and was insecure/embarrassed about how everything went down.

    April 11, 2014 at 5:51 pm #46661

    From a guy’s point of view, trying to establish a relationship during the holidays (including New Years) is tough since family obligations trumps anything personal.

    He may have been busy doing things with his family, been away on a trip, etc and he may have wanted to give you space to do the same for your family. But at the same time, a simple text here and there would have been nice to let you know that he was thinking of you.

    I met someone before xmas last year and we had to put things on hold for the holidays. But I was fortunate to find out from a mutual friend that she was wondering why I was being so “quiet”. Well that was my cue and I apologized about the holidays being in the way (she apologized back) and we then went on a few very fun dates.


    April 11, 2014 at 5:51 pm #46666


    I was also the shy type when I was younger until I realized that women can only deal with shyness for so long before they move on. That being said, I can relate to what he is feeling. He is into you but can’t express/talk about it unless he has a few drinks to loosen him up. The awkward kissing and “lunging” is him being brave enough to make a move. It takes a lot for a shy person to initiate a move with a girl.

    Hopefully his shyness will go away but you may have to continue giving him hints and even do some of the initiating. Hopefully his confidence will grow as he gets more comfortable with you.