Sickness or Rejection?

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Sickness or Rejection?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    September 9, 2017 at 5:00 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    UpandDown
    Participant
    July 9, 2017 at 11:55 pm #141448
    Sickness or Rejection?

    I’ve recently met this extremely nice Italian guy on Bumble. He’s one of those rare kind of guys who texts in paragraphs and asks engaging questions about you. He is a good,innocent and naive man who doesn’t really have a lot of experience with New York dating life (moved here 4 months ago from a small town in Italy)On our first date, we walked around central park, talked for hours. It was nice, he was a complete gentleman but I wasn’t very interested partly because he mostly talked about his work and I had terrible headache that made staying engaged much harder. I decided to give him another chance and we went on a second dinner, movie date. I was more into him and enjoyed his company. We had sex that night. It was amazing and intimate. He asked me what I wanted out of “this”, and said he wanted to spend good time with someone, going on dates, museums etc. like a couple but not taking on the burden of a relationship, I guess? Which is want I want. Then he got very sick for a week (couldn’t even go to work) and our conversations started to get less and less frequent. I offered to help him with food and stuff since he was too sick to get out of bed but he responded he didn’t want me or anyone for matter of fact to see him like this because he always strives to look healthy and strong, which is more than fair.

    • This topic was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by  UpandDown.

    UpandDown
    Participant
    July 9, 2017 at 11:55 pm #141449

    (Continue) He asked me what I wanted out of “this”, and he responded he wanted to spend good time with someone, going on dates, museums, sort of being like a couple but not taking on the burden of a relationship I guess?? Which is exactly what I want. (Both of us got out of long serious relationships a year ago) The other day we texted as usual.

    Then he got very sick for a week (couldn’t even go to work) and our conversations started to get less and less frequent. I offered to help him with food and stuff since he was too sick to get out of bed but he responded he didn’t want me or anyone for matter of fact to see him like this because he always strives to look healthy and strong, which is more than fair.

    Still, at this point, I can’t tell whether he is just not that interested in me or it’s the sickness. I texted him I wanted to see him before I leave but he said it would have been nice but he’s in such a terrible state that it is not worth it


    UpandDown
    Participant
    July 10, 2017 at 11:12 am #141450

    (Continue, Sorry!!!) (Plus didn’t know I was leaving this week) I mean he is miserable, it’s normal that he feels this way. And I would have been totally understanding in normal circumstances but I am leaving New York for almost 2 months this week so I have this urgency to see him. Not because I will be devastated in his absence but mostly because if it’s going to be something, even a causal thing, when I get back I feel like we just HAVE to meet one last time before I leave. Maybe I am being too dramatic or self-absorbed. I have a tendency to try to control my relationships… Anyway the question is should I ask him one more time? Or just let things go? Or idk, what should I do?


    UpandDown
    Participant
    July 10, 2017 at 11:12 am #141453

    (Continue )Still, at this point, I can’t tell whether he is just not that interested in me or it’s the sickness. I texted him I wanted to see him before I leave but he said it would have been nice but he’s in such a terrible state that it is not worth it.(Plus didn’t know I was leaving this week) I mean he is miserable, it’s normal that he feels this way. And I would have been totally understanding in normal circumstances but I am leaving New York for almost 2 months this week so I have this urgency to see him. Not because I will be devastated in his absence but mostly because if it’s going to be something, even a causal thing, when I get back I feel like we just HAVE to meet one last time before I leave. Maybe I am being too dramatic or self-absorbed. I have a tendency to try to control my relationships… Anyway the question is should I ask him one more time? Or just let things go? Or idk, what should I do?


    Ostridge93
    Participant
    July 11, 2017 at 5:09 am #141655

    Your subsequent posts contain mostly repeated text; you might want to try fixing it up so as to appear less daunting to the random passersby. 😉

    Alright, so with regards to your situation, I can honestly say that he does seem to like you; however, as you say, he still doesn’t feel that he is ready for a serious relationship and has a lot of anxiety about people seeing him when he’s sick. I wouldn’t take any of this personally. I’d say give it some more time, keep in touch with him, and see how things are a few months from now. If he’s more open to some sort of commitment, then you can talk about a relationship.

    Good luck, hope things go well between the two of you. 🙂