Slept with my best friend… now it's a mess

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Slept with my best friend… now it's a mess

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Anonymous
    July 7, 2015 at 12:23 pm #82091
    Slept with my best friend… now it's a mess

    I have been best friends with this one guy for ELEVEN YEARS. We met at a summer pre-college program when we were 16, dated for literally ONE day and then he dumped me for another chick. He apologized at the end of the summer and we became friends and he’s been one of my oldest and closest friends to date. When we were in college we got drunk and fooled around a bit but didn’t have sex. So we put it “behind us” because he decided to try and “work things out” with his ex gf and I couldn’t bare the thought of not having him in my life. Fast forward 6 years and we got drunk and had the most amazing sex two weeks ago. Then we went out to dinner to talk about it. I poured my heart out and told him how, for me, it’s always been him. Every break up I’ve ever had since knowing him– he’d take me out to dinner and tell me how amazing I am and what I really deserve. Now that he’s in the driver’s seat, he’s being aloof and saying we should “stay friends” and is “afraid of hurting me” if we progres


    veronicalewis
    Participant
    July 7, 2015 at 11:56 pm #82202

    I think he is attracted to you, but not romantically and probably wants to keep seeing you for the sake of the sex and ‘romance’ but not a relationship. You are also in control and need to think what is best for you.


    Anonymous
    July 8, 2015 at 9:07 am #82093

    He says he “loves me as a friend” and is “extremely attracted to me” but just wants to stay single right now because he’s been a serial monogamist since high school and this is his first 2 year span being single. So then, a few nights later I got drunk and sent him a bunch of text messages asking him why he was so mad at me for falling in love with him? and other similar crazy ramblings and after saying “he was not interested in having that conversation again and was very busy” he stopped replying. I haven’t heard from him in a week. It’s tearing me apart. Did I ruin a friendship? Will he come around? Is there anything left to “do” to fix this? I miss him so much…


    Anonymous
    July 8, 2015 at 9:07 am #82095

    So then, a few nights later I got drunk and sent him a bunch of text messages asking him why he was so mad at me for falling in love with him? and other similar crazy ramblings and after saying “he was not interested in having that conversation again and was very busy” he stopped replying. He says he “loves me as a friend” and is “extremely attracted to me” but just wants to stay single right now because he’s been a serial monogamist since high school and this is his first 2 year span being single. I haven’t heard from him in a week. It’s tearing me apart. Did I ruin a friendship? Will he come around? Is there anything left to “do” to fix this? I miss him so much…


    Anonymous
    July 8, 2015 at 9:07 am #82103

    I still can’t imagine not having him as such an important part of my life… I just don’t know what to do now that my feelings are know and I reacted to his wishes in a less-than-rational way. Is there any fixing this?