So apparently i'm a boring texter/messager…

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So apparently i'm a boring texter/messager…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    LearningAgain
    Participant
    April 14, 2015 at 9:03 pm #77265
    So apparently i'm a boring texter/messager…

    I’m on a few dating sites like tinder, pof, match. I get a few messages a day and eventually get a number and we start texting or maybe a few back and forth messages on the site. I even set up dates, the last one being for Friday last sunday. Well today i get a text from the girl amd she said im going to pass on friday i just dont feel a connection between us. I was kind of bummed because i was really looking forward to meeting this one. This isnt the first time this has happened, so i guess it is me.

    My question is what the heck is everyone texting about right away? We both work and so i didnt text too much during the day monday and tuesday, but apparently that was a bad idea. I mean we even had a lot of the same interests no kids but dogs, same baseball and football teams, music, exercise habits etc. so is everyone else texting 24-7 or something ? I just looked at our history and we had over 200 texts since sunday, but i guess thats not enough.


    DKing3
    Participant
    April 15, 2015 at 10:52 am #77277

    Hey bud, no I can assure you that everyone is not texting 24/7 for sure. In fact, texting too much is bad because you can run out of things to talk about on the date when you actually meet in person. Believe me man it really sucks as I have been shut down many times myself and I thought everything was going great! But just shake this off and go at it again! Try to go and do things that you like and maybe try to meet new friends that way, and any girl you may meet that you two seem to connect with in person and talk with her and try to set up a date. I have done the dating sites too and they seem to have limited success.


    spearz
    Participant
    April 15, 2015 at 1:57 pm #77285

    its all good man just dont get hung up on one girl!


    LearningAgain
    Participant
    April 15, 2015 at 3:19 pm #77295

    Im not getting hung up on one girl, im getting hung up because it keeps happening. Obviously something im doing is different from the norm. I can get messages and numbers online but if we dont meet up asap they lose interest with me and it all falls apart.


    ThatKidAaron
    Participant
    April 15, 2015 at 10:58 pm #77318

    It happens to the best of us.


    JeffS
    Participant
    April 23, 2015 at 11:18 am #77788

    First off, lots of women seem to change their mind, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. I’m not sure why, I’ve never had one tell me why, they usually just stop responding to texts. Based off women who are my friends who do online dating, I think that they either lose interest or start talking to someone else they feel a stronger connection to. I would text less. All dating sources I read talk about how someone can appear desperate if they text too much and all that other stuff. Also, texting too much appears desperate, I despise games but I’d be limiting myself if I didn’t play along even if playing games is a huge attraction killer for me.


    jakev93
    Participant
    April 24, 2015 at 3:49 am #77816

    Don’t let it get to you! I try to leave some stuff out when I am texting so there is still new things to talk about when we meet up for the first time. Ask them questions. If you can’t think of any try googling “questions to ask a girl you like” or similar. Girls love to talk about them selves and in turn you can answer their questions and move things along.


    Anonymous
    April 24, 2015 at 7:40 am #77822

    Text messages are a super important skill (and it is a skill) to learn bro,
    You have to look at attraction like any other emotion, it will dissipate over time.. Think of a motivational speech, you feel energized as hell when your there but after a couple days those emotions are gone.
    So think of your text messages as a way to keep the attraction going until you have a chance to meet up with her next.
    And the easiest way to do this is to make her laugh!
    DO NOT ever write message like “What’s up?” or “How are you?”… These messages will not invoke any response in a girl.
    Throw some personality in your text… You can make this easy by creating a hook when on the date, perhaps ask her what songs she likes, when she tells you call her out on how… nerdy, uncool or silly (for example her song is. Then your first text (the ice breaker) can be “just heard your ‘nerdy’ song on the radio made me think of you haha”
    Just create some sort of emotion, and personality in your texts!


    dan
    Participant
    April 25, 2015 at 3:12 pm #77888

    It happens to all of us!


    DespisedIc0n
    Participant
    April 26, 2015 at 3:49 pm #77907
    Reply To: So apparently i'm a boring texter/messager…

    A lot of people are boring to me, until that one person comes and you just have everything to talk about… Don’t feel bad. It happens.


    LearningAgain
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 8:14 am #77845

    Thanks for the responses

    For brendon: i’m referring to texting a woman who I havent actually met yet. After we meet, things are better, but it seems like if you havent met yet they need to be wowed bu something to keep them interested. You make a good point though about not saying things like simply, what’s up? I noticed those usually dont work very well


    samhopexo
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 9:41 am #78035
    Reply To: So apparently i'm a boring texter/messager…

    This happens to me all the time and I’m a girl. When I start talking to someone I like online for a while and we text back and forth constantly and when we plan to meet up its either they think we don’t have a connection or we meet in person and everything is completely different. It’s very frustrating trust me.


    banjojohn
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 2:46 pm #78052
    Reply To: So apparently i'm a boring texter/messager…

    Yes, texting too much makes you appear like you have no life. its normal in the first stages of meeting someone, but it should slow down eventually to something sane.


    minky
    Participant
    April 29, 2015 at 5:16 pm #78087
    Reply To: So apparently i'm a boring texter/messager…

    The best thing to try and do is be different. Try to stay away from boring and typical texts..like: “Hi how are you”?
    Send a funny or random statement like – “Wow, had an awesome day…don’t think yours could beat mine”…or an open ended silly question like – “Tacos or Pizza?” Little short texts like these seem to do the trick and get replies pretty quickly.

    Good luck!