So broken: how do I get him to come back?

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So broken: how do I get him to come back?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    mylove123
    mylove123
    Participant
    March 25, 2017 at 3:42 am #131165
    So broken: how do I get him to come back?

    My situation: Hi, I’m a woman in my early 30s and I was kind of dating a guy in his early 20s.
    I knew the gap would be an issue in the long run and he probably thinks I want kids sometime soon. Even three years later, he still won’t be ready for kids. I have let him know that I’m not looking to have any kids right now or any time soon. I am not ready for kids myself. Just because I’m older, doesn’t mean I want kids. I’m waiting for the “right person” – whoever that is to have kids with so I’m not stuck in a situation I don’t want to be in. I have never been so at peace and tranquility as I have when I am with him. We never have any arguments at all…and our dates are fun, cute, amazing. I knew that he was going to flake out eventually thinking about the age…I just wish he would come back, though I know he shouldn’t come back.
    I just can’t stop thinking about our good times. We literally didn’t have a single bad time at all. He eventually pulled away. I miss him so much.


    moran64
    Participant
    March 26, 2017 at 7:55 pm #131197

    The best thing you can do is to actually leave him alone for a while. If he gets back: great. If he doesn’t, you have to move on. Trying to chase him only makes things worse.


    ellen04
    Participant
    March 27, 2017 at 10:38 am #131235

    There is nothing much you can do, if he really likes you he will come around but don’t put your life on hold waiting i know it’s not easy but you have to be ready to move on.


    PeterArnold
    Participant
    March 27, 2017 at 11:11 am #131238

    I totally agree

    mylove123
    mylove123
    Participant
    March 28, 2017 at 8:57 am #131294

    Hey thanks. I just got a really weird message from one of his friends. He stopped talking to his other friend, too, but who is a guy. I don’t know what’s going on with my guy friend. I hope he will come back so much. I just want to hang out again. We were supposed to go to all these movies that are coming out and now that we’re not talking I don’t know what to do about the movies we were supposed to see.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    March 28, 2017 at 12:00 pm #131352

    you need to sorta move on… maybe touch base now and then “hey stranger.. was just thinking of you.. how you been?” – but only every few months or so.. no more than that.

    he left.
    he’s gone.
    maybe the future holds cards but you CAN’T live holding onto that.
    yes things may have been awesome with him but how do yo know it can’t be awesome or more with somebody else? Until you try other options you don’t know. And yes. just because you try and it doesn’t work out the first few times doesn’t mean the ex- is the one.

    remember.. we typically end up with 1 in our lifetime that is “it” (maybe 2). so if you figure you date 3 a year for our dating lives of what.. 30 yrs? that means we’ll “hit” 2 out of 90 on dating. so yeah.. there is a lot of failure built into dating – so don’t conclude on that b/c it keeps failing.

    as others have said. let it be. if it comes back down the road – consider it a bonus.
    until then. you need to move on.


    ChrisFisher81
    Participant
    March 28, 2017 at 2:38 pm #131364

    Pray and give him time


    loverboy
    Participant
    March 28, 2017 at 3:01 pm #131377

    Those who are afraid to love cos of age are not worth loving.

    MplsMinnie
    MplsMinnie
    Participant
    March 29, 2017 at 6:41 pm #131541

    Why do you say he “shouldn’t” come back? Sounds like there’s something on your mind, maybe insecurity?

    Age is only as much of an obstacle as you let it be.

    As for getting him back… work on yourself. Find happiness, go after your passions, be happy being yourself without him. After a while, when you feel good, drop him a quick text of “Thought of you today. I miss you.” And see what happens.

    mylove123
    mylove123
    Participant
    March 30, 2017 at 4:29 pm #131655
    Reply To: So broken: how do I get him to come back?

    Hey guys, I do have an update!!! After two straight weeks of no contact at all, two days ago, I almost texted him but I erased it and didn’t send it. That same night, a mutual friend had a gathering at their house, and my “guy” ended up showing up knowing I was going to be there. I was so happy to see him again. He kept glancing at me like he missed me and then when he left, he held my hand like he didn’t want to let go. My friend knew it was kind of awkward between me and my “guy” and was basically helping us get a friendship back at least. We can’t hang out alone…it’s too intense with the physical attraction and we don’t want to make it a hook up so we only hang out now with other people around. There was no other place to run into him and my guy went out of his way to go to a place he knew I was going to be at just told me everything I wanted to know if he was thinking about me. Hope I can get a friendship back, trying to.