So I'm confused.

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So I'm confused.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Confusedguy81
    Participant
    October 16, 2013 at 9:04 pm #41350
    So I'm confused.

    I don’t date a considerable amount and i’m in my early 30s. I was married for a few years before my wife passed so I’m fairly bad at it. I’ve been dating this woman for about 3 months. We get along well, but she has displayed a ton of push/pull with me and is guarded. We used to communicate frequently, either through text, email or phone calls in between dates but that has diminished. I tried calling to schedule a date but didn’t pick up so I left a message. She left a text the following day stating she couldn’t make the date because she was apartment hunting because her roommate and close friend was moving out. She said she was drained and didn’t have energy for anyone. I told her she needs to take care of herself and left at that.

    I didn’t communicate with her for a couple of days because she is going through a lot so I thought it would be best to let her be. She texted me last night while I was in bed so I responded in the morning. I then followed with another text later in the day while I was at lunch. She hasn’t responded, which isn’t a big deal, but I was wondering how much communication I should keep with her if any at all. Should I just wait awhile before texting/calling again or just wait for her to initiate? Thanks for reading this and your responses.

    sharklasers
    sharklasers
    Participant
    October 17, 2013 at 10:17 am #41357

    I think at this stage, three months in, you shouldn’t have just left it at that. She’s going through a busy time in her life? Offer to help her out! Go apartment hunting with her. Cook her dinner. Don’t just stop communicating. So to answer your question, don’t wait a while or wait for her to initiate, get in contact as soon as you can and try to get back in her life.


    Mondo93
    Participant
    October 18, 2013 at 9:24 pm #41456

    I think you should wait for her to text you back. Let her get in contact with you, that way, you’ll know for sure.


    Rawrrawr
    Participant
    October 21, 2013 at 1:19 am #41466

    I think you should wait to giver her space


    timtim23
    Participant
    October 21, 2013 at 12:01 pm #41512

    Let her come to you.


    Annde73
    Participant
    October 21, 2013 at 8:56 pm #41561

    I hate to say it, but it sounds like she’s evading you. That’s usually how I behave when I’m slowly trying to get out of a thing with a guy because for whatever reason I’m too much of a coward to do it point blank. I know it’s horribly immature, but I’m working on it. Hopefully it works out for you! However, I think you should let this one go. 🙁


    Ryantsc
    Participant
    October 23, 2013 at 12:32 pm #41730

    I kind of agree with the first response on this one. I haven’t really had much dating experience so I can’t say much, but I wish you luck.


    salyerj
    Participant
    October 27, 2013 at 10:43 pm #41969

    Are you initiating all the conversations and dates? If so, then I would back off a bit and try to let her come to you as other people have suggested. You want to be somewhat of a challenge and mystery to her. Right now, she knows that you’re into her and she can hang out with you whenever it is good for her. She definitely has some level of interest because you guys have been dating for three months. Consider talking to other girls at the same time.


    St Stephen
    Participant
    October 28, 2013 at 8:49 am #41976

    It certainly sounds like avoidance on her end but then again, I don’t much about her situation. She may well be drained and too busy but I know for me, when I really like someone, no amount of tired is going to keep me away when they ask me out on a date. I think I would text her and tell her you’re there if she needs you for anything and then back off until she is ready to communicate. Just out of curiosity, are you guys exclusive? If you are, does she know this? It’s happened to me a few times, I think I am dating someone exclusively and she is not. Happens a lot in the early stages before a couple really knows what they are. I wish you luck, it sounds like you really care for this girl and she makes you happy. She would be a fool to push you away, IMO.


    Todd22
    Participant
    October 28, 2013 at 7:52 pm #42048
    Reply To: So I'm confused.

    I do believe just to give her some space so she can figure stuff out.


    glrcotton31
    Participant
    November 1, 2013 at 6:08 am #42284
    Reply To: So I'm confused.

    I agree with everyone else. Sometimes life gets in the way and she could really have a lot on her plate or she may be giving you the brush off. Either way you should give her space and wait for her to come to you. You don’t want to come across as too needy by always being the one initiating contact.


    seemore1
    Participant
    November 2, 2013 at 10:38 am #42366
    Reply To: So I'm confused.

    To be quite honest…i’d leave her to it. She must know by now how interested you are and if she’s not responding the same way as you, it could do more harm than good. Even if she has a busy schedule, that’s not a reason to not communicate or at least send you a text to say hi…how are you? Us men need assurity in life especially from women we commit ourselves too.
    Hope everything works out


    Confusedgirlfriend
    Participant
    November 2, 2013 at 3:27 pm #42368
    Reply To: So I'm confused.

    give her space


    arrowin
    Participant
    November 2, 2013 at 11:07 pm #42378
    Reply To: So I'm confused.

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    m007allred
    Participant
    November 3, 2013 at 12:50 am #42380
    Reply To: So I'm confused.

    wish you luck

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