"Something is missing" in the sex. Any advice?

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"Something is missing" in the sex. Any advice?

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  • adviceseeker43
    Participant
    October 23, 2016 at 5:37 pm #114979
    "Something is missing" in the sex. Any advice?

    So I’ve been seeing a girl off and on for the last 10 months. We have never been “official” because she is unsure what she wants. Also, she has been having problems of her own (eating disorder 3 years ago, family drama, and suicide attempt 2 months ago). However, I have made it clear that she is who I want to be with.
    In my opinion we’ve had “sex” 3 times. Before this, she considered herself a virgin. After this, she considers herself a virgin. First off, I am aware that different lesbians have different views of what sex actually is, but to her it’s more than just physical. While we were having sex the last time, something in her demeanor changed. We stopped & she said something was missing. She then told me she didn’t want to reciprocate which obviously hurt my ego. We both cried and decided we should just be friends. Since then, she’s said things like “I miss you more than just as a friend” & she wants to talk about “us” again. Can this “problem” be overcome?
    Thanks!


    Riley89
    Participant
    February 17, 2017 at 4:20 am #127387

    It sounds to me as if she’s npt certain of where she stands in her life in general, not just in this relatipnship. She’s been in a though aituation lately you tell us, which would explain a lot. Be patient and talk with her about you and where you both stand as far as a relationship is, concerned, maybe she.will end up talking about the last time you had sex and you’ll find out more about her current problems with it. Obviously you should not force yourself to tolerate more drama than you think you can handle, but if you want to get through this, know that it will not be easy.
    Also it sounds to me like maybe she wasn’t ready to have sex at all and she stopped the situation because of that.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    February 17, 2017 at 1:10 pm #127478

    the problem can be overcome.. but she will hae to be willing and put in committed effort to change in reciprocating to her partner (aka you).
    don’t go by her words (anybody can say what they think or want to do) but her actions. they will tell you the truth about what shes willing to do and not.

    so.. don’t take her word for it (and assume b/c she says she misses you she’ll do everything and fix it) – see if she actually starts fixing it if you try again.

    good luck!


    CindyGlass
    Participant
    June 12, 2017 at 4:19 pm #139286

    Actions speak louder than words and you deserve the kind of love that you dont have to second guess. The kind of love that doesn’t seem that complicated.

    June 16, 2017 at 4:00 pm #139758

    So many red flags. From what you put. I can tell that you really do care for her. Have you talked say in depth about your relationship. Have stood back and looked at it. Do you know what in her demeanor changed. After you both stopped. Did she tell you what changed. If you two do go back in seeing each other. I would be careful in not getting your feelings hurt and more.