Something Wrong With Me?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Something Wrong With Me?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    AJS07
    Participant
    August 5, 2017 at 10:19 pm #144384
    Something Wrong With Me?

    Hi all. I’ll give some background then describe my situation. Hopefully someone can give me some inside.

    I’m 29. I’ve been single for almost 8 years. I didn’t even date anyone until March this year. I have most qualities any normal person would want. I’m funny, smart, kind, loyal, confident, I communicate. A friend tried to set me up with A in March. No real connection. No big deal. I joined Match in June. B,C, and D are from Match

    B started talking to me. We talked a couple weeks. We went on 2 dates over a weekend. She texted me a few days later saying she met someone else. Okay.

    C started talking to me. We talked for a couple weeks and went one 1 date. No connection

    I started talking to D. We talked a few days and went out twice over one weekend. It was great while it lasted. She seemed great. The night after our last date she said she wasn’t ready for this and still heartbroken. Her ex broke up with her a couple months ago. This is the one that’s bothering me.


    AJS07
    Participant
    August 5, 2017 at 10:24 pm #144385

    They all have fun with me. I’m good looking. I’m told that all the time. These 3 all told me that. They’re interested me. They all told me that too. I make them laugh. I really don’t know what to change. I don’t know what to do to make anything work. I feel like I do everything right and it doesn’t matter. I don’t change anything between the first and second dates. It’s like someone flips a switch. Early “break ups” suck because all you’ve seen is the good in someone. Plus you’re expecting it to go somewhere when you feel a connection. Part of my disappointment is from my expectations. I don’t chase them after the fact. I might send D a message when I get to the point where it won’t bother me if I don’t get a reply. What am I supposed to do when it doesn’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong?

    nescafepapi
    nescafepapi
    Participant
    August 6, 2017 at 3:03 am #144387

    maybe you have problem with timing


    yodeman18
    Participant
    August 6, 2017 at 9:02 am #144390

    I get it. Sorry that it’s been like this. People suck. I’m guessing you’ve heard this over and over, but I can’t think of another answer, but all you can really do is keep working on yourself. Focus on your interests and strengths. What gives you energy? What do you have to offer? Maybe make a list if you have to, then think about how you can show off those strengths on a date. I get it, its hard to do when the dating world can be one of such negativity. You seem to recognize what some of your good qualities are, which is good. You mentioned you don’t change anything between first and second dates. Don’t know exactly what you mean by that, but maybe do something more exciting for a second date instead of just dinner, or whatever your first date was? I don’t think it would hurt to send D one message, just saying that you really like her, but you respect where she’s at, and she’s welcome to call you anytime, then leave the decision up to her. I guess just keep trying. Good luck!


    Milman
    Participant
    August 6, 2017 at 2:34 pm #144394

    Hang in there man.


    AJS07
    Participant
    August 7, 2017 at 10:10 am #144386

    I’ve been on 5 dates between 3 girls in the last month. Getting a date, now that I’m trying, hasn’t been to difficult. It’s getting the one that I’m interested in to stay that I can’t get past.


    AJS07
    Participant
    August 7, 2017 at 2:20 pm #144508

    Thank you. What I meant when I said I don’t change anything between the first and second dates was that I don’t change the conversation or the way I act. I don’t feel like I say or do anything that would drive them away.

    The first date with D was a nice walk and then we watched a movie at her place. The second date was another walk. It all seems to be going great, then bam. I’m not a dinner or drinks guy for a first date. I’d rather be somewhat alone. Someplace without the barrier of a table between us where we can focus on each other without a crowd.

    I sent her a message after she told me. No reply. I’m thinking about waiting and maybe “starting fresh”. Maybe she started to like me and wasn’t ready after the break up. Maybe it’s not me at all and I’ve just had really bad luck