Splitting the check for first few dates is annoying

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Splitting the check for first few dates is annoying

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    August 8, 2017 at 11:15 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    June_Bug 39
    Participant
    July 30, 2017 at 10:03 pm #143625
    Splitting the check for first few dates is annoying

    I’ve gone out with a 42 year old man about 4 times in the past few weeks. He moved back to the area 2 years ago and lives with his mom while he decides his next move. We have split the check for each date. I can’t lie, it’s a bummer. I wish he would have paid for the first few (romance, anyone?) but when I offered my card, he has taken it each time.
    On our last date (he has suggested what we should do for each of them), we went out for a few drinks and apps and split it. Then we went to a cash only place where I mentioned that I didn’t have cash but he said he would pick it up since I had paid more during the last date. Well, the check comes and he tells me he doesn’t have enough cash and the waiter says the atm is across the street and my date stares blankly at me and says “do you want me to go?” What could I say but no? I went but I was fuming. He said he would pay and now I’m walking across the street at 11pm to get cash to pay our check. Am I being unreasonable that I’m upset?

    TravisB
    TravisB
    Participant
    July 31, 2017 at 4:46 pm #143732

    I’m always for gender equality and breaking through gender roles. But as a guy, I always always pay on the first few dates–sometimes longer than that. It’s just a nice gesture and a gentlemanly thing to do in my opinion. If a guy can’t afford to get drinks, I hate to sound biased but probably not a good sign. If he can’t afford to buy drinks, he shouldn’t be out on a date to get drinks. Period. He either doesn’t have money or doesn’t value you–either way I sense it’s a red flag for sure.