Starting to Lose Hope

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Starting to Lose Hope

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    mnm7221
    Participant
    October 31, 2017 at 8:22 pm #154637
    Starting to Lose Hope

    Back in April, me and my ex broke up after being in an emotionally abusive relationship and after finding out he was cheating on me with multiple girls and had already found a new girlfriend before I even broke up with him. I took a few months to myself to focus on myself before I even thought about dating again.
    As a college student with two jobs and many extracurriculars I find it hard to meet potential dates, so I started using Tinder and Bumble with no real expectations. I started talking to this guy and we dated for a few months, but then he told me all he wanted was just a casual hookup, but later found out he was also talking to my roommate’s friend and ultimately chose her over me (and she’s beautiful). After this I quit dating apps for a while, then I started back up about a week ago. I matched with this guy and we talked for a few days before deciding to meet up. He was everything I could have wanted, very attractive, tall and a Christian. We went on a date and then…..


    mnm7221
    Participant
    October 31, 2017 at 8:25 pm #154638

    went back to my house afterwards to watch a movie. I thought everything went really well. When he left my place he said he would talk to me later. I texted him the day after our date and thanked him for coming over and said I had a lot of fun. He replied and thanked me for inviting him and had a casual conversation for a few minutes. Then nothing. I haven’t heard from him since (three days). I really liked this guy and all this online dating and being “ghosted” is really taking its toll on my ego. I knew he was too good to be true and I’m sure he found someone better already.
    I’m constantly being reminded of being cheated on and how my ex is happy with someone else but I’m alone and struggling with being happy with myself. I am stuck in this mindset where there will always be someone better than me so why should I go through the pain of even trying? Anyone going through a similar situation and have any advice?


    Addisme
    Participant
    November 1, 2017 at 9:15 am #154640

    I have been in your shoes and it sucks. I’ve spent the last two years in your shoes until I met my current boyfriend. I even got to the point where when I first started talking to a guy I’d ask him to make a deal with me that at anytime either of us didn’t want to talk anymore we just tell each other none of this ghosting crap. That worked with 1 out of maybe 20 guys. My advice is this. Firstly work on you. If you feel like you’re not good enough, then you’re going to give off that bad energy and attract the wrong guys or ruin things with a great one. Know that you are enough and any guy that’s not willing to see that isn’t worth your time or energy. I wish I had better advice for meeting guys, except to just keep at it and when one doesn’t work out consider it their problem and not yours.


    Hopeless
    Participant
    November 2, 2017 at 6:06 am #154761

    Starting to lose hope, I’m sorry u had to go through that.. No one should… Sadly my situation is different and I’m starting to feel hopeless. But as being a strong female always say theres someone out there just has to take time and Stay Strong.. Don’t lose Hope because everyone time comes to be happy and you know yours is probably right around the corner…
    Take care and good luck…

    LoneWolf
    LoneWolf
    Participant
    November 2, 2017 at 10:51 pm #154879

    So far all of my online dating attempts have ended in ghosting. I wish people could just be honest with me and say they’re not interested. I know sometimes there are legitimate reasons for not being able to respond, but purposely ignoring someone is just rude. I’d say move on; there’s nothing else you can really do.


    sandeep87
    Participant
    November 6, 2017 at 12:01 am #155137

    Keep Trying.. You will find the guy for you. May be the guys you were seeing are not apt for you.
    Don’t loose hope. Be yourself. One who loves you the way you are is the one you need


    Louie97
    Participant
    November 7, 2017 at 9:10 am #155339

    I’m saddened to hear about your situation. However, I agree with the others that you should not lose hope because there is always light at the end of the tunnel. This is not your life…it is merely a season whose ending will be worthwhile when the man of your dreams enters your life. As for your unfaithful ex-boyfriend do not let his temporary “pseudo-happiness” of a relationship fool you into thinking that he is succeeding whilst you are suffering. For all you know this new girl could be his karma for how badly he treated you. Also, do not worry about the other two guys either, clearly neither of them were worthy of your time or attention if they ghosted you so haphazardly. I do not want you to play the comparison game with the other girls these “boys” have choosen over you. YOU are worthy and so beautiful so bask in your majesty. I’ve been in a similar situation and he’s seeing someone new as well but I refuse to let it destroy me. Be indestructible, stay strong and God bless.


    costarica
    Participant
    November 7, 2017 at 9:31 pm #155504

    Dont lose hope we might know someday you can find the right one for you. Maybe not now but in the future..


    newhere
    Participant
    November 11, 2017 at 7:34 am #155886

    I second Addisme. Stay strong

    datinglola
    datinglola
    Participant
    November 20, 2017 at 8:26 am #156863
    Reply To: Starting to Lose Hope

    You need to work on yourself and make sure that you are happy with yourself. Get rid of this fear and anxiety and desperation. People smell it a mile away. Go to a therapist. Deal with your stuff. Until you do, crappy situations will keep happening. I don’t mean to be harsh, but life creates these situations to show us what we need to work on. So work your stuff out and then an amazing guy will come into your life.

    qmusclelover
    qmusclelover
    Participant
    November 20, 2017 at 6:17 pm #157015
    Reply To: Starting to Lose Hope

    Do not give up, you need to find the power