Starting up from dating break on bad foot.

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Starting up from dating break on bad foot.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    JZen
    Participant
    December 26, 2016 at 1:33 am #121043
    Starting up from dating break on bad foot.

    I’m a guy I asked out a coworker about a month ago, because we dont talk that much at work I would not say we’re close friends.

    We got in two dates then the next 3 weeks we could not get a date lined up because of her schedule. because of this and finals I was getting frustrated, and she was obviously getting stressed out about me asking about her schedule with her starting a night job.
    So I had a talk with her that we should take a break from dating until the second week of January.

    Since the first date to this talk she has been giving me mixed signals about whether she really wants to date or not. I’m afraid through this I have being to needy and I apologized to her for hounding her schedule. Now with a new semester Im going to be super busy and want some clarity as to where things are going.

    Now when we talk again I want to start by telling her…
    see below.


    JZen
    Participant
    December 26, 2016 at 1:38 am #121044

    “I take my personal relationships seriously.
    I don’t have the time or the patients to give myself to new relationships.
    when I do they get my full attention.
    So it’s only fair to tell you that I don’t like messing around playing head games,
    I prefer things blunt and to the point.
    You’re one of those few I’ve wanted to put that effort into
    So My wants….
    I want us hang out, I want Take you out to special dates now and then, And I want us to be more than mere friends.
    I’m not trying to put you on the the spot.
    but your honest answer as to whether you are down to giving this a shot is worth more to me than hurt feelings”
    .

    Am I approaching this the right way? things i should do or avoid at this point?

    • This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by  JZen.

    AcesDJD
    Participant
    December 27, 2016 at 9:32 am #121053

    Sounds like something a woman might say except it would end as her wanting to be friends! (No offense meant). Don’t say that! Women really do like cool. Wait till things have calmed down for her and say something like “How did all those reams of reports go..” “Still really busy now?” When she says yes, say something like “That’s too bad, I was going to get a limo and take you to (insert the most expensive restaurant in town) followed by a trip to the Bahamas. But I guess the books take priority.” If she doesn’t laugh that’s a really bad sign, if she likes the joke then modify what your real plan was.

    As far as organizing how the dating life is going to go from a to b to c, that simply is unlikely to work it will just irritate her or scare her off.


    JZen
    Participant
    December 27, 2016 at 9:47 pm #121179

    Well the thing is, she will be busy weather I win her heart or not. Busy she will be, that is her personality, Even when she is doing something you can see the wheels turning for the next thing. An my intention is not giving out a list dating procedures exactly, just that I want it clear what I want from her, and not play friendzone dodgeball. So If that is being to direct what is a good way of settling this so we can either move on or know that this is serious ?