Strong feelings for a friend's sister; don't know what to do

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Strong feelings for a friend's sister; don't know what to do

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Alfred999
    Participant
    November 14, 2014 at 3:10 pm #67592
    Strong feelings for a friend's sister; don't know what to do

    Hi, i’m a (19-and-a-half year old) university student in England, and i’ve been friends with a guy for the past 3 years (since starting Sixth-form college/’high-school’). In that time, i’ve slowly developed feelings for his younger sister (who is two-and-a-half years younger than me). As an aside, i generally struggle in socialising with girls, and am quite reserved.

    These feelings developed as i’d see her when i’d (very occasionally) go over his house, and really like the type of person she is. My friend would also talk about her quite a lot (sometimes dropping her into conversations etc.), and i’d always like what i heard about this girl because she seems a lot like me (even he’s said we’re alike), then when i’d see her it seemed to back up everything he’d mention.

    I’ve recently found myself becoming more obsessed with her, and sometimes feel i should let my friend know about my feelings, though i know how awkward it could become if i do so and that guys can generically be very protective of their sisters in that way… I feel i should do something though.

    • This topic was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by  Alfred999.
    • This topic was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by  Alfred999.
    • This topic was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by  Alfred999.

    superal1966
    Participant
    November 17, 2014 at 2:01 pm #67689

    Obviously speaking with him can go one of two ways, but if you act upon your feelings without speaking with him, then he is almost certainly going to be a little annoyed at the very least.

    I think my advice would be depending on what your intentions are, but I suspect that you wish to act on your feelings towards his sister given you have asked the question.

    You have to accept that it is probable he will be taken back in the initial instance as it’s broaching a ‘male taboo’, but ultimately there are no reasons why he would have a problem with it, and although he would never openly admit it, he may even be glad that his sister could be with a person that he already trusts.


    victorash91
    Participant
    December 7, 2014 at 9:44 pm #68848

    Well, you seem like a decent guy. Grab a six pack, go to friend (or just go to a pub) and talk to him. Say, hey man, I would like to ask your sister out. She seems nice and we might get along. Would it be ok if I did? That should do the trick. What superal1966 said about him being ok with it is more than likely true. If he mentions her often in conversations he probably was dropping hints.