Stuck in the friend zone…..

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Stuck in the friend zone…..

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    fitnessguy
    Participant
    August 21, 2013 at 12:56 pm #37479
    Stuck in the friend zone…..

    Hello, I am a guy posting in the womens section because I question the advice I get from guys. I am caught up in I believe a “friend zone” to whom a girl I am very attracted too. We went out on a first date months ago and it was a disaster. I just got out of a 4 year relationship and I kind of forgot all the stages of a successful date. Anyways, so I texted her a month later about getting together and working out. Her response was yeah that would be cool. I heard nothing for a week and then she texts me about getting together for a workout. Fast forward about 6 weeks and we are working out all the time now. She even stayed the night at my house and slept in my bed. I gave her a sensual massage and everything came off except the shorts and but got not even a kiss as I wanted her to make the first move because I wanted her to want it more than me. She later tells me that she almost lost control of herself that night. She tells me that I am too big (muscular) and she prefers skinnier guys and loves our relationship as it stands now. Last week I told her I went out on a date with another girl and now things seem to be shifting in a different direction. She seems to be way more flirty and even sent me a very sweet text about how much she apprecicates me. So how do I proceed with this? SHe is a very stubborn girl hung up on a guy from her past and I believe that is my major stumbling block. I am taking other peoples advice and not asking her out on a date.
    Have any of you ladies been in this situation where you simply see a guy as a friend and then the dynamics change and in a romantic relationship? Thanks ladies!!


    delia9586
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 2:40 pm #39334

    Hi Fitness Guy! Welcome to the Ladies zone. I am glad you ventured over here:) Have you tried getting her flowers? Every girl LOVES flowers. I have strung guys along that were just friends (I know that sounds awful) because they meant more to me than any guy would because they were always there for me, which is hard to find in a boyfriend. Here is my dating advice: GIVE HER AN ULTIMATUM. If she knows she can have you forever as a friend, she will keep you in the friend zone, but if you tell her that you can no longer be friends with her since your feelings are getting in the way, she will have to decide whether your friendship is worth it. I would tell her that you have feelings for her when you make a really romantic gesture such as taking her to the beach and bringing candles/wine something really romantic. Plus show her that you can put those muscles to good use:) She will choose you!

    Best of luck! It sounds like you really care for her. Let me know how it goes


    fitnessguy
    Participant
    September 19, 2013 at 4:20 pm #39350

    Hi Delia, thanks for your comment! There has been some changes in our relationship since I posted this a few weeks ago. Just last week I received a call while at work from her mom to ask if I could pick her up at the ER. She had a bad reaction to a flu shot and couldn’t drive due to some medication they gave her to stop the reaction. So I went and picked her up and took her home and the whole way she held my hand and told me how much she appreciated it. We ended up hanging out all night and she was very sweet with a lot of affectionate touching. We laid in bed and watched a movie while snuggling and then I turned her head to kiss her. She responded by more kissing and well…..things really took off…actually clothes (haha). No need to go into that but you know what happened. Again in the morning and then we had a talk about it. I told her I would be open to dating but she is very hesistant about it. She said she feels like something is missing but doesn’t know what or why she feels that way. She felt selfish for sleeping with me because she wanted me so badly. So I am not sure how I feel now. I do have feelings for her but I am keeping them at bay and don’t have high expectations for us. If she is really that into me then it will happen if not I am cool with being friends with her. I know she has strong feelings for another guy that she dated but he didn’t want a commitment and it broke her heart. I believe she is holding out hope this guy will come back around again. Its sad to see someone put there life on hold. I guess I will leave things as it is and see what will happen. I am definately not waiting on her to make up her mind and will continue to date around. SO why would she decide to sleep with me? She is not the person to sleep around. Any advice from you ladies?? Thanks!!!

    Genni
    Genni
    Participant
    September 26, 2013 at 2:21 pm #40062

    She definitely wants you. I agree with the person up there. You should give her an ultimatum. What in the world could be missing. You seem like such a great guy and you showed her that you would take care of her. make sure that she knows you aren’t going to be there for her if she doesn’t pick you. Don’t give up hope from her though. She’ll see what an awesome guy you are.