Sucking At Love

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Sucking At Love

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    pxticade
    Participant
    September 22, 2013 at 9:24 am #39504
    Sucking At Love

    Firstly, i apologise if this story is overused but i honestly have NO love experience; I’ve never been in love with someone before and i’m in my early 20s.

    I have this childhood friend of 16 years and i consider him my best friend. I know there’s the saying of ‘there’s no such thing as a friendship between a guy and a girl’ but, i don’t really think i love him. I don’t think he likes me either because i know the girl he’s interested in and they were dating until recently and he still intends on getting back together with her.

    Speaking in all honesty, he and i have chemistry but im not sure if it’s the romantic kind. We know exactly what each other is thinking and we can finish each other’s sentences. We have similar tastes in music, books, humour etc… I always talk to him and i really enjoy his company. I don’t find him physically attractive but i always like hanging out with him – any time and anywhere. There’s no awkwardness between us either – we can talk about anything.

    I’ve tried to figure this out myself many times and i really don’t know what to do. Usually someone at my age would have fallen in love by now at least once so my question is: Am I in love with him but i just don’t know it? Maybe be reason i haven’t found that someone that makes my heart flutter and race is because he’s the one?

    I know i sound really naive and ‘innocent’ but i guess that’s just where i am in my love life and i don’t really have anyone to talk to about this so i guess this is my only resort since my heart and mind have failed.

    I’d really appreciate any advice! Thx


    daniel
    Participant
    September 22, 2013 at 3:48 pm #39506

    Well, I’m probably not the best person to give advice, as I’m also 21, and have 0 love/romance/sexual experience. (Never dated, never kissed). However, I think “Love” is an overused and ambiguous term. You might love him as you would love a friend or sibling.
    I haven’t been in love either (at least, not that i know of, but I don’t know the definition), and don’t think you’re weird if you have never been. For me, I don’t care if I’m weird. If society wants to condemn me in anyway for my weirdness, then that’s their problem. My question is, would any future potential girlfriend/boyfriend/lover be turned off by the fact that I (or someone like me) have never had any experience?

    joedirt
    joedirt
    Participant
    September 26, 2013 at 2:11 pm #40030

    I went through something similar with a best friend and it didn’t work out. We ended up breaking up and she resented my for the next four years for not loving her. Now we haven’t spoken in three years. I’d say don’t take a chance dating a friend. it’s never worth it ruining the friendship

    TFerguson
    TFerguson
    Participant
    September 26, 2013 at 2:15 pm #40040

    If you’re not getting that “in love” feeling with him, he’s probably not the right one. I’d probably keep my options open if I were you.

    sharklasers
    sharklasers
    Participant
    September 26, 2013 at 2:17 pm #40048

    If you’re thinking about it so much, you’re not in love with him. It’s not something you think about. You just feel like there might be something there because you’re good friends, but there’s no attraction there.

    datingisamazing
    datingisamazing
    Participant
    September 26, 2013 at 2:18 pm #40053

    You’ve stated yourself in your own post that you “really don’t think” you love him and that you “don’t find him physically attractive.” There’s your answer right there! If you REALLY loved someone, you’d know it and wouldn’t say things like that in your introductory post. If it’s taking this much thought and hesitation to get into a romantic relationship with him, it’s probably just not meant to be. There’s a difference between friendship and a romantic relationship and you’re probably just exhibiting the former – similar to the love people have for their siblings.

    TFerguson
    TFerguson
    Participant
    September 26, 2013 at 2:21 pm #40061

    You’ve stated yourself in your own post that you “really don’t think” you love him and that you “don’t find him physically attractive.” There’s your answer right there! If you REALLY loved someone, you’d know it and wouldn’t say things like that in your introductory post. If it’s taking this much thought and hesitation to get into a romantic relationship with him, it’s probably just not meant to be. There’s a difference between friendship and a romantic relationship and you’re probably just exhibiting the former – similar to the love people have for their siblings.

    Right on.

    LikesToTan
    LikesToTan
    Participant
    September 26, 2013 at 2:34 pm #40086

    OMG I was in the exact same boat as you, same age and everything. Since you are new to love, make sure you aren’t rushing things. You never want to tell someone “I Love You” unless you really mean it, because you won’t be able to take it back. If he isn’t the one, you need to leave him. Do not waste your time with him. You need to find a guy that when he looks at you, you can tell you complete his world and that he would do ANYTHING for you, even take a bullet for you. Best of luck!

    foreversingle
    foreversingle
    Participant
    October 1, 2013 at 6:25 pm #40090

    If you’ve been friends with him for 16 years and HE, the MAN hasn’t made a move on you yet, then it’s probably not in the pipeline for you two to be going out. Remain friends and find someone else to be with romantically.